tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-114308732011-04-21T16:36:43.697-04:00Undoing Ruin"Doing it for Hans"Bensonnoreply@blogger.comBlogger311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-50716836601706509742007-06-18T21:37:00.001-04:002007-06-18T22:39:14.503-04:00What Makes A Good Album Cover (and what makes a bad one)What makes a bad album cover? The answer is quite simple: a picture of the band. If you are in a band, don't put a picture of yourself on the album cover. Sure, it sounds like a good idea when your label pony's up thousands on a "professional" photographer and stylist, and you think it will be great to have your mug posted in every record store around the country, but then you up looking like this:<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc4xsM33HI/AAAAAAAAAAU/bvFgHsGa9fE/s1600-h/a+thorn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc4xsM33HI/AAAAAAAAAAU/bvFgHsGa9fE/s320/a+thorn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077589531213421682" /></a><br /><br />When I first saw this I thought it was the cover to the new Zelda game for nintendo wii.<br /><br />Even worse...<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc46cM33II/AAAAAAAAAAc/8nlddeL_ZxY/s1600-h/hellyeah.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc46cM33II/AAAAAAAAAAc/8nlddeL_ZxY/s320/hellyeah.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077589681537277058" /></a><br /><br /><br />Seriously..this band features Vinnie Paul on drums..a fucking LEGEND. And Tom Maxwell, guitarist of the almighty Nothingface, and yet, with one album cover they have both turned into some nu-metal cartoon sideshow.<br /><br /><br />So..what makes a good album cover? There are a few answers. Putting anything involving a mythological creature/realm, or a battle axe, is a sure way to guarantee an amazing cover. No band does this better than 3 Inches of Blood. <br /><br />Behold, the perfect album cover:<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc5hcM33JI/AAAAAAAAAAk/f-aIW6GUQk0/s1600-h/3+inches.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc5hcM33JI/AAAAAAAAAAk/f-aIW6GUQk0/s320/3+inches.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077590351552175250" /></a><br /><br />Battle axe? check. Flaming arrows? check. Middle Earth-esque setting? check. Band no where to be seen? check.<br /><br />Here is another great example of the album cover done right:<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc6OcM33KI/AAAAAAAAAAs/pZmVtHTRLTk/s1600-h/HIGH.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc6OcM33KI/AAAAAAAAAAs/pZmVtHTRLTk/s320/HIGH.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077591124646288546" /></a><br /><br />Battle axe? check. Middle Earth-esque setting? check. And, even better, the beast swinging the battle axe appears to be wearing chain mail (another big plus). <br /><br />A new album coming this summer that I predict will be a huge success? Dekapitator's <br />"The Storm Before the Calm"<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc_rcM33OI/AAAAAAAAABM/5hcT7LXFSlk/s1600-h/dekap.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc_rcM33OI/AAAAAAAAABM/5hcT7LXFSlk/s320/dekap.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077597120420633826" /></a><br /><br />The name of the band in the battle axe? Now THAT is creativity.<br /><br />However, sometimes, the whole mythological creature thing can be done wrong if put in the hands of a false metal band.<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc7Q8M33LI/AAAAAAAAAA0/Qnlc_VOYGcU/s1600-h/jbac.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc7Q8M33LI/AAAAAAAAAA0/Qnlc_VOYGcU/s320/jbac.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077592267107589298" /></a><br /><br /><br />Seriously guys, you are trying waaaaaaaaay to hard here. What is this thing? A horse skull with horns, spine, rib cage hanging out, wearing shoulder pads, sitting in a pit of burnt shrubbery? And your band has the word "cowboy" in it? What exactly are you going for here?<br /><br />Keep in mind, there are exceptions to every rule. Below is the greatest album cover of all time, and it features a pic of the artist and not a single battle axe. <br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc8hMM33NI/AAAAAAAAABE/ihoWjl07np4/s1600-h/DUFF.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HbIl2FeHOuk/Rnc8hMM33NI/AAAAAAAAABE/ihoWjl07np4/s320/DUFF.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5077593645792091346" /></a><br /><br />Be warned: stick with the battle axes unless you are Hilary Duff...she manages to be the exception in just about every rule. She managed to make the unnecessary movie sequel amazing (Cheaper by the Dozen Two), the cash-in movie based off a TV series amazing ( The Lizzie McGuire Movie), the unnecessary blond to brunette hair dying amazing(still hot!), and the actress turned singer transition cliche amazing(keep them albums coming sugar tits...)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-5071683660170650974?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1168058208390794072007-01-05T23:29:00.000-05:002007-01-20T14:26:25.041-05:00January Film Preview<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" >Everyone knows but that January is the time when studios dump their worst movies into theaters. In retaliation, many people ignore new releases and use the month to compile "Best of Lists," catch up films getting Oscar buzz, cash those year-end bonus checks, and maybe shave or leave the basement. But not me.</span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" > </span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" >January is my favorite movie month of the year. Keep in mind, I don't plan on shaving, leaving the basement (other than those 8 hours a day I need to spend in a cubicle), or actually seeing any movies. January isn't my favorite movie month because of the <i>movies</i>; it's my favorite movie month because of the <i>movie commercials</i>.</span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><br /></span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" > </span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" >Usually, I hate being interrupted from watching Jimmy Woods talk creepily about sex with his teenage daughter on <i>Shark </i><span>so I can see a</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span> commercial telling me that Mel Gibson's <i>Apocalypto</i> is "Spellbinding" (what the fuck does that word even mean?! And why is allowed to be used outside of a Harry Potter movie?) or one saying Leo "gives a once-in-a-lifetime" performance in <i>Blood Diamond</i> (with dialogue like "in your country it is bling-bling, in my country it is bling-bang," let's hope so).</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><script><!-- D(["mb","<span> </span>Usually, I hate having my emotional involvement in Jen from \n<i>The Real World</i>'s confessions about how she "doesn't normally get drunk and have sex with people and not remember it" (C'mon, don't lie to me Jen…) ruined by any commercial for "the most romantic movie of the holiday season." \n</span></span></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><span><span>Usually, I hate when one of Lou Holtz's lispy, senile, nonsensical, college football rants is prematurely cut short sort so I can hear about how Diddy got his "moisturizer situation" fixed by ProActive Acne Solution. But I guess that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.\n</span></span></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><span><span>Anyway, throughout the month of January, often times the movie commercials are even better than quality TV programs I regularly watch. So far this one month only, I gladly welcome commercial breaks from \n<i>Shark, Top Chef, Real World Challenge: The Dual, Twentyfourseven</i>, and other shows because there is the chance I will get to see a commercial for one of the following movies.</span>\n</span></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Freedom Writers</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><span>Hilary Swank was looking for the best way to rebound from her divorce from the guy who played the lead in the made-for-TV "The John Denver Story." I'd have to say she's found it. Seriously, how come no one has ever thought of this concept before? Teacher goes into a high school filled with minorities who don't pay attention and teaches them the meaning of life? And don't forget two-thirds of the way through the movie when the gang-banger who changes his ways gets shot anyway for dramatic (\n",1] ); //--></script> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Usually, I hate having my emotional involvement in Jen from The Real World's confessions about how she "doesn't normally get drunk and have sex with people and not remember it" ruined by any commercial for "the most romantic movie of the holiday season."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Anyway, throughout the month of January, often times the movie commercials are even better than quality TV programs I regularly watch. So far this one month only, I gladly welcome commercial breaks to see an ad for one of the following movies.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style=";font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Freedom Writers</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Hilary Swank was looking for the best way to rebound from her divorce from the guy who played the lead in the made-for-TV classic "The John Denver Story." I'd have to say she's found it. Seriously, how come no one has ever thought of this concept before? White school teacher goes into a high school filled with minorities who don't pay attention and teaches them the meaning of life? And don't forget two-thirds of the way through the movie when the gang-banger who changes his ways gets shot anyway for dramatic ( <script><!-- D(["mb","i.e. hilarious) effect.</span></span></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</span></b><span>\n "You think your life would be so much better without the blacks, or the whites, or the Mexicans, or the Cambodians?" (Cambodians? Seriously?)</span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Target audience:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Stomp The Yard</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Target audience:</span></b><span> Let's just say if your name is Mark, Donald, or Vern you are not the target audience. If your name is JeMarcus, Donnell, LaVernious, you are the target audience.\n</span></span></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Alpha Dog</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span>",1] ); //--></script>i.e. hilarious) effect.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</b> "You think your life would be so much better without the blacks, or the whites, or the Mexicans, or the Cambodians?" (Cambodians? Seriously? I didn't realize L.A. schools were filled with Cambodians.)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </b>"Been spending most our lives, living in a gangsta's paradise."<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Target audience: </b>Cambodians?<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Stomp The Yard</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>First we got Drumline, then You Got Served, then ATL, and now Stomp the Yard...but the big drawback to this is it doesn't star a rapper. What the hell were these producers thinking? This could have been the perfect role for Lil' Wayne.<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</b>"They've been national step chapmpions for seven years!"<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </b>"Nick Cannon is in this movie, we swear"<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Target audience:</b> Let's just say if your name is Mark, Donald, or Vern you are not the target audience. If your name is JeMarcus, Donnell, LaVernious, you are the target audience.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Alpha Dog</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>The casting director for this movie is a genius. Seriosuly, when trying to cast a thug, how could he not think of a former mousekateer and boy-band alumnus? Especially one whose last movie credit was in a straight to DVD flick called "Edison Force" with LL Cool J.<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b><script><!-- D(["mb","<span>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </span></b><span>\n</span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Target Audience:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><br /><b><span>Codename: The Cleaner</span></b></span></p>\n<p><span><span>You got to respect Cedric The Entertainer, or as I call him C to the E. Usually, comedic actors have a string of huge successes before they resort to no-budget, low-brow comedies that don't get screened for critics. But not CTE. He went straight to bottom. The one-time "hot" actress desperate to be in a movie again: in this case, Lucy "Ecks vs. Sever" Liu. \n</span></span></p>\n<p><span><span>The recycled cliché plot: in this case the bumbling idiot spy amnesia thing.</span></span></p>\n<p><span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</span></b><span>\n "Wait a second, I'm married to a white woman!"</span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie:</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Target audience: </span></b><span>People who went and saw "Black Kngiht," "Johnson Family Vacation," or are familiar with the work of Steve Harvey.\n</span></span></p>\n<p>",1] ); //--></script>Line they are banking on to sell the movie: </b><span style="font-style: italic;">"Life?!"</span><b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </b>"Hey Bruce Willis is in it!"<b> </b> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Target Audience: </b>White boys who refer to each other as "dogs"<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /><b>Codename: The Cleaner</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>You got to respect Cedric The Entertainer, or as I call him C to the E. Usually, comedic actors have a string of huge successes before they resort to no-budget, low-brow comedies that don't get screened for critics. But not CTE. He went straight to bottom. It even has a one-time "hot" actress desperate to be in a movie again: in this case, Lucy "Ecks vs. Sever" Liu and a r<span><span><span><span>ecycled cliché plot: in this case the bumbling idiot spy amnesia thing.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</b> "Wait a second, I'm married to a white woman!"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </b>"It's better than Johnson Family Vacation..."<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Target audience: </b>People who saw "Black Kngiht," or are familiar with the work of Steve Harvey.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><script><!-- D(["mb","<span><span> </span></span></p>\n<p><b><span><span>The Hitcher</span></span></b></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</span></b><span>\n "Rated R for strong violence, horror, and terror"</span></span></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </span></b><span>\nBoromir, brother of Faramir, son of Isildor, heir to the throne of Gondor is in it. </span></span></p>\n<p><span><b><span>Target audience:</span></b><span> Anyone who knows who Chad Michael Murray is.\n</span></span></p>\n\n",0] ); D(["ce"]); //--></script> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>The Hitcher</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Boromir stalks some really hot chick and her boyfriend with a bad emo haircut...actually this movie sounds pretty good.<b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they are banking on to sell the movie:</b> "Rated R for strong violence, horror, and terror"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Line they SHOULD use to sell the movie: </b>"This movie stars Boromir, brother of Faramir, heir to the throne of Gondor."<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><b>Target audience:</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> 8th graders.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-116805820839079407?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1167177858817544112006-12-26T19:00:00.000-05:002006-12-26T19:08:06.686-05:00Dreamgirls<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/1600/856272/dreamgirls.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/320/32412/dreamgirls.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p><br />I’m sure by now you must have heard the hype behind “Dreamgirls,” after all; this movie has been getting more press than Britney Spear’s twat. But let me be the first to tell you, not only is “Dreamgirls” definitely not the best movie of the year; it is quite possibly one of the worst movies of the decade. The cast is awful, and the plot is so full of clichés its impossible not to predict every single thing that happens. Allow me to elaborate:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />Please let me be first to dismiss all the raves surrounding Eddie Murphy’s performance as Jimmy Early. I seriously can’t even begin to make sense of all the accolades he’s getting. Bro barely has any lines, except for occasionally busting out a “Hey, it’s Jimmy baby!” or a “Jimmy’s got soul!”<span style=""> </span>He pretty much just acts like Eddie Murphy with a bad haircut. Sure he does a great job of lip-singing to his own recordings, but if you could get an Oscar for that, my bride-to-be Hilary Duff would have mantles full of gold statues by now.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/1600/83133/dream2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/320/574361/dream2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Second, let’s deal with Jennifer Hudson as Effie. Yes, she can sing, and girl’s got soul, I’ll giver her that. But Kelly Clarkson’s got soul too, and Mariah Carey is also a damn good singer, but I don’t seem to remember any Oscar talk for “From Justin to Kelly” or “Glitter.” Good voices in horrible movies doesn’t make them Oscar-worthy.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />Now, on to Beyonce “I’m already a star. I have nine grammys.” Knowles. She plays Deena, who takes over as lead because she’s not as fat as Effie. Now, in case you didn’t already know Beyonce was a terrible actress from her work in “Austin Powers in Goldmember” she really goes out of her way to prove it here. It’s as if she’s reading cue cards the entire time – and her monotone doesn’t help either.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />As for Jaime “Slow Jams” Foxx, I really don’t know why he even agreed to do this movie. Maybe “Stealth 2: More Stealth” got delayed or something. All his role calls for is him to scowl and talk shit to Danny Glover. He does have one cringe-inducing song. It was so awful the only way I could sit through it was by telling myself that at any moment Ludacris was going to appear and drop a guest verse.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/1600/305502/dreamgirlsopen460.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4243/927/320/748533/dreamgirlsopen460.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Although I have to give Jaime some props for taking on a role that requires him to kiss a whale-like Jennifer Hudson.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />However, the main problem with Jaime Foxx is that the role of Curtis was tailor made for Stephen A. Smith. Curtis is annoying, has a frown on the face at all times, thinks he knows it all and is better than anyone else, and quite frankly, I believe Stephen would have done a great job.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />If there is someone that truly deserves recognition for their role in “Dreamgirls,” it’s Danny Glover. Although it pains me to see the star of “Predator 2” as a geriatric looking like he could croak at any minute, he gives a great, understated performance, and it’s always nice to see an actor age gracefully and not turn into a pathetic caricature of themselves (see: Mel Gibson, Al Pacino, Sharon Stone, Sylvester Stallone, etc.). Hopefully after people see him here he will start getting some more parts thrown his way.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />Also, a shout out to Steve Urkel himself, Jaleel White, for delivering his two lines as “Talent Manager” flawlessly. Jaleel, in just two minutes, you were able to distract everyone in the entire theater, make them turn to the person sitting next to them, and say “Holy shit, is that Urkel?” Way to go buddy. See you at Denny’s.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />As for the plot, there really isn’t much to discuss. You already know the entire movie from the previews. Girls get famous, girls are controlled by an evil manager, fat chick gets kicked out of the group, only to make a triumphant appearance at the end. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />Stay away from this movie at all costs. If you are looking to see a good movie about the rise and fall of a talented music act, just wait until VH1 reruns their brilliant film “Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story.”</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-116717785881754411?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1149743527980239962006-06-08T00:59:00.000-04:002006-06-08T01:17:40.493-04:00Who Cares If People Don't Care About Hockey?<p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Game one of the 2006 Stanley Cup finals between the Carolina Hurricanes and the Edmonton Oilers was one of the most exciting hockey games I have ever seen. It had all the makings of a classic: huge hits, breakaways, amazing saves, and a close score. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Carolina</st1:place></st1:city> came back from a 3-0 deficit to take a 4-3 lead, and ended up winning the game 5-4 on a goal that came with less than a minute left in the game.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I watched the game on the big screen at a local sports bar. Of course, I had to request that the game be put on since every other TV in the bar seemed to be tuned to a regular season baseball game. This makes sense, because regular season baseball is <i>so </i>much more exciting the championship hockey. After all, regular season baseball has it all: out-of-shape players, plays that last less than 10 seconds, no physical contact, guys standing around chewing gum, old men making weird hand signals at each other- not to mention half full stadiums. Who wouldn’t rather watch that than a game where play goes on uninterrupted for minutes at a time, players shoot 90 mile an hour shots at each other, try knocking each other unconscious, and are fighting for a league championship?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>When I try to ask people why they think baseball is more exciting than hockey, somehow they always come up with the excuse that hockey is Canadian and baseball is “<st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s past time.” Well, last time I checked, slavery was also an American past time. So was segregation. So were New Coke and Crystal Clear Pepsi. If anything, the fact that it’s “<st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s past time” is another reason to hate baseball.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Apparently, not only would people rather watch baseball…but they would even rather watch girl’s softball. Wednesday the ratings came out for game one, and it turns out, a girl’s softball game on ESPN 2 averaged more viewers than the Stanley Cup did on OLN.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So why is it that no one cares about hockey? There are many theories floating around out there. The first and most popular seems to be because of cancelled 2004-2005 season. Due to a dispute between owners and players over a salary cap, there was NHL season and the theory is that people forgot about it or lost interest in it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I find this hard to believe, and the notion that a cancelled season has hurt the NHL’s popularity seems laughable to me. If anything, it only increased my love of the sport and desire to watch it. Without a hockey season, I was forced to suffer through the NBA playoffs in an attempt to quench my thirst for watching competitive sports, and it nearly killed me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>While basketball is not quite as bad as baseball, it still cannot even compare to the thrill of watching hockey. Every time basketball players touch each other, a foul is called and play stops. Not to mention every time they fall down, or get slapped on the wrist by another player, they act like they just got shot. In hockey, players are not only skating at full speed and crushing each other, but they literally punching each other in the face; basketball cannot compare to hockey at all. NBA players are about as tough as schoolgirls, while hockey players are as tough as the cavemen that they resemble.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Another theory as to hockey’s low popularity and TV ratings is that fact that this season was broadcast on OLN, the Outdoor Life Network, which is known for such quality programming as “Cabela’s Master Walleye Circuit” and “Expedition Safari.” Well, I don’t buy this theory either. “The Sopranos” is on a network that is not is most homes, and is still known as one of the greatest shows on television and is considered widely popular. So just because OLN isn’t in as many homes as the major sports networks or get as many viewers doesn’t mean its product isn’t as good. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But I say, who cares if no ones cares about hockey? I have come to the conclusion that low ratings and low popularity actually proves just how great hockey is. People shouldn’t judge how good of a sport hockey is based on its ratings or so called “popularity.” Being a hockey fan is like being in that cool “no girls allowed” club that you had in fourth grade or having a sweet “members only” jacket. Sure, you may be few in numbers, but by being a member you are clearly proving that you are better than everyone else.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Think about it: most everything that is currently popular in American is God-awful. Kelly Clarkson sells five million records. That doesn’t make her a good singer; it proves that 5 million Americans have a horrible taste in music. The last Rob Schneider movie made almost 60 million dollars. That doesn’t make it quality cinema. “The George Lopez Show” is watched by millions of people every week. You get the point.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The most clear example of <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s poor taste in everything, especially sports, is NASCAR. Yes, NASCAR dominates TV ratings and is much more popular than hockey. NASCAR TV ratings are somewhere around a 4.8 while hockey struggles to get a 2.3 rating on a good day. Just because more Americans would rather watch cars take a constant left turn for 4 hours doesn’t mean it is a better sport. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>George W. Bush has a 37% approval rating, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is the most powerful person in the free world. Hockey may have the lowest ratings of any major sport in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is the best, most exciting sport on the face of the earth. I am proud to be in the club of hockey fans, and I am happy to know that most other people will never get to experience the joy and thrill of watching a hockey game because they are too busy downing Busch Lights at the race track or watching some steroid freak play in a baseball game. People need to stop talking about hockey like it is a bad sport, or it’s a failure just because it’s not as popular as other sports. They will never know what they are missing, and I am perfectly fine with that, and other hockey fans should be to.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114974352798023996?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1145826729474740902006-04-23T15:37:00.000-04:002006-04-24T14:56:37.126-04:00Ugly Photos of Ugly People<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Chad Kroeger, Lead Singer, Nickleback</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/chad1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/chad1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This is probably the funniest picture I have ever seen. Look at this clown. He looks like either a reject from "American Idol" or the illegitimate love child of Michael Bolton and Jesus Christ.<br /><br />Here he is belting his heart out. I wonder what he's saying right now. It's probably something like "The arena didn't give me enough aroma therapy candles and is out of diet pepsi! Nooooo!"<br /><br />And what the hell is he wearing? A leftover costume from "Dances With Wolves?" Kevin Federline has more talent than this guy.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/chad3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/chad3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It's bad enough he thinks he's Jesus, and it's bad enough he's the lead singer in the worst band in the history the human race, but what's even worse that he apparently feels the need to "flash the horns" during his concerts. Come on now Chad, is that really necessary?<br /><br />I can only imagine what he was saying here. "Hello Tennessee! What the fuck is up! I wanna see a circle pit right now! I want you guys to really fuck shit up! This song's called Photograph!"<br /><br />This guy flashing the horns is like the head of the NAACP waving a confederate flag. It just makes no sense.<br /><br />This band writes safe, cheesy, formulaic pop songs for people to listen to in elevators and on the way to Nascar races. Seriously, I think my Bar Mitzvah was more metal than this guy.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Tyson Ritter, Lead Singer, All-American Rejects</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/ritter1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/ritter1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Now, I was torn about putting this up, becuase I don't like to make it a habit of making fun of retarded people. I mean judging from these pictures, it's obvious this guy suffers from a serious case of down syndrome.<br /><br />All I really have to say is that in this picture he looks like a 3rd grader who just heard the bell for recess.<br /><br />For some reason, everytime I see this guy I imagine he's about to yell<br />"Hey bro! Did you hear? They're serving tacos for lunch!"<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >David Draiman, Lead Singer, Disturbed<br />The Commish, Keyboardist, Mae</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/mae.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/mae.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/DavidDraiman72.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/DavidDraiman72.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Now, in looking for pictures of ugly people I have also managed to uncover one of the biggest secrets in the music world. When this story breaks, the nu-metal and emo worlds will never be the same. You see, David Draiman, singer of Disturbed, was an obvious choice for this list. And of course, so was the keyboard player from Mae, who has already been targeted in this blog before.<br /><br />And that's when it hit me: they are either identical twins or they are actually the same person. Think about it. I always thought that the lame chin piercing was just a failed attempt at starting a nu-metal fashion trend, but in reality, it was a clever disguise. I mean, people who listen to Mae and people who listen to Disturbed usually don't cross paths<br />so he doesn't need much. This way, he gets<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/may_2005--large-msg-1125671940-2.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/may_2005--large-msg-1125671940-2.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> both nu-metal and emo groupies. One week he's seducing tiny girls with thick glasses and "I heart Hawthorne Heights" T-shirts, the next week he's porking security guards after a Co-Headlining run with Drowning Pool.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/dis.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/dis.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />However, I think such a double life would be hard to keep up so I think it's more likely they are identical twins. What happened was, their parents got divorced. Chin-pierced boy moved in with his father, a trucker and card-carrying NRA member; The Commish moved in with his mother, a therapist and devout vegan.<br /><br />Commish grew up talking about his feelings, "having a good cry" at least twice a day, and listening to the Indigo Girls. Disturbed grew up listening to Ozzy's "Bark at the Moon" even though still to this day he's never heard Black Sabbath. Since Draiman lived in Chicago and Commish was down in Florida, they grew apart...eventually both becoming prominent in the music scene. Draiman, making monkey noises and acting as the voice of pissed off seventh graders everywhere, and The Commish playing keyboards on the emo masterpiece that is "The Everglow."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114582672947474090?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1145277269379698292006-04-17T08:20:00.000-04:002006-04-18T01:15:48.890-04:00ATL - The Greatest Movie of All Time<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/atl_photo_13.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/atl_photo_13.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Hanging out at the Waffle house</span><br /></div><br />With big budget, star-driven movies like "V for Vendetta" and "Inside Man" playing in theaters along with blockbuster franchises like "Ice Age" and "Scary Movie" it's easy for a small, character driven drama to go unnoticed by moviegoers. Such is the case with "ATL" a powerful film starring Tip "T.I." Harris and that one kid from "Drumline" and "Smart Guy."<br /><br />This movie has already dropped out of the top ten, and that is a shame, because it should be required viewing for all Americans. The movie can be best described as a cross between "Roll Bounce" and "Monkeybone" with a dash of the old Nickelodeon series "My Brother and Me" thrown in. Let me explain.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Pho6312.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Pho6312.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Alfie and Dee Dee...They paved the way for T.I. and his lil' bro<br /><br /></span></div> T.I. lives in the hood of ATL with his younger brother Ant. He watches out for his younger brother (much like Alfie from "My Brother and Me") even saving up his money from being a janitor by putting it in gangster rolls and hiding it the back of a stereo.<br /><br />Him and his posse spend their weekends at Cascade, a local skating rink where they drink soda and roll around in choreographed routines (kind of like "Roll Bounce" but sadly without Nick Cannon). It is also where the one and only Jazze Phizzle spins records.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/JBD-6833.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/JBD-6833.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/208103-atl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/208103-atl.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">T.I....Platnium Rapper, Platnium Roller Skater</span><br /></div><br />However, though T.I. may look tough, with his hardcore vacuuming of office buildings and his mad skills on the roller rink, he is really soft at heart. T.I. says, in a heartbreaking monologue, that "my dad used to show me the comics every weekend. When I grew up I wanted to be the one drawing the comics." Hence we have our "Monkeybone" connection.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/atl_photo_10.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/atl_photo_10.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Cartoonin' it up</span><br /></div><br />Now, it's hard for me to describe the plot, since there are about 12 plotlines running though the movie and none of them start until about halfway through the movie. But I'll do my best.<br /><br />Plot 1:<br />T.I. and his posse, Teddy, Esquire, and Brooklyn, are a 4 man roller skating machine. Their moves are the illest but the competition is fierce. They only have a few weeks to prepare for Skate Wars, where they will battle it out with other posses "You Got Served" style on the roller rink.<br /><br />Plot 2:<br />Ant becomes a drug dealer working for Big Boi and gets arrested. T.I. attempts to keep him out of trouble but Ant wants to make money, even though T.I. advises him that "you don't have to be a dope boy to make money."<br /><br />Plot 3:<br />T.I. falls in love with a girl named New New, who is hiding a secret from him. No, she's not a man, not pregnant, doesn't have AIDs, or anything like that. It's much worse. She's rich and lives in a mansion and is actually just pretending to be ghetto. Even worse...she has a white name and a white mom! New New is really just a rich bitch named Erin!<br /><br />Plot 4:<br />Esquire needs to get a letter of recommendation to get into college, because the evil white dean doesn't think his 4.0 GPA and test scores are enough. So, he meets a rich black CEO at the country club he works at, who turns out to be New New's dad.<br /><br />Plot 5:<br />T.I. and Ant live with their angry uncle, who shows them no love because he is an angry janitor, and because his career didn't exactly take off after his breakthrough role as Bubba in "Forrest Gump." He has to learn to let go of his anger and start acting like a father.<br /><br />Plot 6:<br /><div style="text-align: center;"> <div style="text-align: left;">The Twins, two random girls, like to have nice stuff so they have to steal designer purses and try to hide them from their mom, who ends up catching them.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/atl_photo_12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/atl_photo_12.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">She's not ghetto...She's secretly rich!</span><br /></div><br />For the sake of space, I'll stop there and go into my review of the movie. What makes it special is that its really more of an overlong music video. Every five minutes, like clockwork, a banging rap tune comes on and out of nowhere comes a slow motion montage of hot black girls in booty shorts rollerskating. This helps keep the movie from ever getting boring.<br /><br />However, its not all just about showing sexy women and cool roller skating. The movie also has an underlying politcal edge. After T.I. gets in a fight with his uncle, the camera cuts to a painting of Jesus at the last supper. Also, check out this photo of Esquire and the CEO dude at the all white country club. In this scene there is a close up shot of a painting of Stonewall Jackson or something. You can see the kind of bold political statement this makes.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/atl_photo_17.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/atl_photo_17.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Um...<br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: left;">The ending of this movie is awesome. They skip skate wars and Ant is in debt 2 G's to Big Boi. he doesn't know what to do so he goes to the store and buys some chocolate milk. Then Big Boi pulls up and draws a gun, and a scared Ant spills chocolate milk all over his oversized white T. Then, Big Boi corners him and is about to kill him when T.I. shows up with the money. But instead of just giving it to him, he throws it in his face as a sign of disrespect and then Ant gets shot.<br /><br />However, I don't want to give away the endings to all the other plotlines because you should all go out and see this movie for yourself. This movie is full of great performances, a great soundtrack, and great roller skating. It is a coming of age tale, a romantic drama, a gangster film, and a friendship drama all wrapped up in one. Plus, Bone Crusher plays a body guard.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div> </div><br />The best part of this movie, is that it taught me a new word that I have now incorporated into my everyday vocabulary: Cutty. You can infer what it means by the scene in the movie where T.I. and Ant talk about how they "both got cutty last night" and their uncle says "I'm supposed to be the only one gettin' cutty around here."<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/atl_photo_8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/atl_photo_8.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Guess who got some cutty last night?<br /><br /></span> <div style="text-align: left;"><font>The other reason you should see this movie is because of the talent behind the camera. The story is credited to Antwone Fisher, who apparently can write movies that aren't about himself. It was also produced by T-Boz from TLC and Will "Big Willie Style" Smith. It was directed by Chris Robinson. No not the hippie from the Black Crowes, but a guy who has directed a lot of Nas videos and not a lot of movies.<br /><br />Needless to say, this is the 3rd film that I am inducting into my movie hall of fame.<br /></span></div><font><font><font><font><font> </span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114527726937969829?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1143483551454663262006-03-27T12:58:00.000-05:002006-04-18T01:35:12.166-04:00Forever Night, Never Day Concert Review<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/30seconds.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/30seconds.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></div><br />30 Seconds to Mars, Aiden, Emanuel<br />The Avalon, New York City<br />March 23, 2006<br /><br />Emanuel hit the stage first, opening their set with "The Willing." It was the only song of theirs that I had heard before the show, and figured it would be the highlight of their set. I couldn't have been more wrong. Each song they played seemed to be better than the last.<br /><br />The band moved great on stage and seemed to win over more and more of the audience as the set went on. After getting their debut, "Soundtrack to a Headrush" at the show and giving it many spins, I can definitely give it an endorsement. Watch out for these guys, you'll be hearing more about them - I guarantee it.<br /><br />9/10.<br /><br />Next up were the boys in all black, My Chemical Romance Junior, or as they are better known, Aiden. I'm not going to lie, I'm a huge fan of Aiden's Victory Records debut "Nightmare Anatomy," but I still couldn't help laughing at them as soon as they hit the stage. It was like the band had just been given two to minutes to run through Hot Topic "Supermarket Sweep" style before the show, and made sure to take as much ridiculous Goth apparel and eyeliner as they could.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Aiden_Photo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Aiden_Photo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Aiden's frontman, who goes by the name"wiL" had the fat high school girls screaming as soon as he hit the stage. However, he seemed more like Casper the Friendly Ghost than a sex symbol if you ask me. Seriously, this guy probably worked for an hour on his makeup to make sure his face was as pale as a corpse. But even so, his voice was spot on, and the whole band brought their record to life with ease. They played favorites like "Breathless," "The Last Sunrise," and "Unbreakable," and really got the crowd into a frenzy with an older tune, "I Set my Friends on Fire."<br /><br />Since it seems the band's image is just as important to them as their music, I feel it is only fair that I critique them on that as well. That being said, this band was made up of the ugliest dudes I have ever seen. The dueling guitar players in particular really need to lay off the after-show twinkie binges. They both looked nearly the same, and I can best describe them as "Lost Boys" era Keifer Sutherland mixed with the fat Madden twin from Good Charlotte, mixed with the Pillsbury dough boy. As for the bassist and drummer, they looked like the bash brothers from the "Mighty Ducks" movies after getting a Cyclops haircut from Stevie Wonder.<br /><br />Aiden gets an 7/10 for performance, and a 1/10 for looks.<br /><br />Things didn't get off to a great start for Leto and the boys of 30 Seconds to Mars. Strike one - taking 40 minutes to get on stage. Strike two - "Lord of War." Luckily, there was no strike three and 30 Seconds to Mars hit the stage and wasted no time getting into the title track from their latest, "A Beautiful Lie."<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/30_seconds_to_mars491.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/30_seconds_to_mars491.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>There really is no other band out there that sounds like 30 Seconds to Mars. Since their self-titled debut came out a few years back, the band haven't changed to fit into any trends and seem to be content to just do their own thing, and wait for people to catch on. And it looks like people finally are. The crowd was really into it, singing along to most of the songs. The band never missed a beat and you could really tell they were enjoying the performance.<br /><br />The band played all of its best songs, including "Capricorn ( A Brand New Name)," "Attack," "The Fantasy," "Oblivion," and even attempted to get a circle pit going with "Battle of One". Obviously, the circle pit was a failure, because there really is no way to mosh to their music, but it was a valient effort.<br /><br />I give them a 7/10 as well, and really reccomend if you haven't heard these guys yet, get your hands on their new album or see them live. They got a lot of shit due to the fact that Jared Leto is their singer, but they have a unique sound and deserve a chance.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114348355145466326?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1141681333503300212006-03-06T15:41:00.000-05:002006-03-06T18:19:32.966-05:00Oscar Musings<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/oscar_statue_2005.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/oscar_statue_2005.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Who Really Should Have Won at the Oscars</span><br /><br />Well, last night was the Academy Awards, and, as usual, the Academy fucked up big time. Most of the best performances of the year weren't even nominated and pretty much every award they gave out was bogus. So, here is a list of some of the winners, as well as a list of who <span style="font-style: italic;">should</span> have won.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Costume Design</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: "Memoirs of a Geisha"</span><br />Well, I didn't see "Memoirs of a Geisha." Funny story about that. I was on my way to the theater, when this pasty-yet-hot Asian chick looked at me. Suddenly, I couldn't move. Turns out, she was a geisha and stopped me in my tracks with a single look. So I ended up not being able to make it to the the theater. But I know for a fact the costumes in this movie didn't deserve to win. I mean, how hard is it to make a freaking kimono? Doesn't the Japanese K-mart sell those things for a dime a dozen?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won: "Sin City" or "Batman Begins"</span><br />This photo clearly explains why "Sin City" should have won.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/alba.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/alba.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Yeah...This deserved to win for sure. But if this couldn't win, why not "Batman?" They finally did justice to a character who has had his costume mishandled for years. That's got to count for something.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Best Director</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: Ang Lee for "Brokeback Mountain"<br /></span>Ang Lee doesn't deserve this at all. Trust me, I know. Me and Ang go way back. We used to go on fishing trips every summer. But then he got married to some broad from Taiwon and we went fishing less and less. And then, he stopped fishing with me altogether. Now all I have left is Ang's jean jacket which I sniff as frequently as possible...I wish I knew how to quit you Ang...<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won:</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Christopher Nolan for "Batman Begins"</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>A no-brainer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Best Supporting Actor</span><br />Who Won: George Clooney for "Syriana"</span><br />Did anyone even see "Syriana?" How can you give Clooney an Oscar when all he did was gain weight and grow a beard in an attempt to look like Dennis "the dragonslayer" Quaid?And if it's a supposed to be about the oil crisis in the mideast, why does it's title sound like a magic card?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Syriana<br />mana cost, 3 plains 2 colorless<br />5/5 flying<br />Protection from Black<br />"The Syriana flys with grace and fights with a mighty bow"<br /></div> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won: Nick Cannon for "Roll Bounce"</span><br />This year, Nick Cannon was in a movie with Bow Wow and Chi McBride (B-Public Represent!) about rolling skating in the 70's. It should have swept the Oscars.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Best Supporting Actress</span><br />Winner: Rachel Weisz for "The Constant Gardener"</span><br /><font>The chick from "The Mummy" won an Oscar? What the hell? For a movie called "The Constant Gardener?" That title is even worse than "Syriana." This movie is about an activist who gets murdered in Africa trying to expose corrupt officials and its called "The Constant Gardener?" Thats like me making a movie about a quadrapalegic albino fighting for health insurance and calling it "The Frequent Teatherball Player" or something.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/alba.0.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/alba.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><font><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Best Actress</span></span><font><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: Reese Witherspoon</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> for "Walk the Line"<br /></span>So, we're giving out Oscars to Reese Witherspoon now? I heard "Walk the Line" was good and everything but...the chick from "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Legally Blond?" An Oscar winner? I just don't know...<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won: Lava Girl for "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D"</span><font><br />I mean...with a name like Lava Girl how can she not be nominated? In 3-D?<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><br /><font><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Best Actor</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: Phillip Seymor Hoffman for "Capote"</span><br />Now, Hoffman deserves props he is a great actor...but this year I hate to say he just wasn't the best in the field.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Should Have Won: Either The Rock for "Doom" or Samuel L. Jackson for "Coach Carter"</span><br />Now, "Doom" was actually a movie I did see. And let me tell you, The Rock had me in tears when he delivered epic lines such as "Semper Fi motherfucker!" and "We need to find a body to go with that arm."<br />I didn't see "Coach Carter" but come on, you got to give mad props to my man Samuel L. I mean, he closed down the gym because his players were getting bad grades. He put a lock on the door and made them study.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Best Screenplay</span><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: Paul Haggis for "Crash"<br /></span>It was written by a Scientologist. 'Nuff said.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Who Should Have Won: Whoever wrote the Quaid flick "Yours, Mine, and Ours"<br /></span>Just when I think Quaid can't possible get into any more shenanigans, some genius writer comes up with the idea to have him play a Navy officer who somehow has like 18 kids and a pig, falls into some goo and saves the world. At least that's what I gather from these pics from the movie.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/2005_your_mine_ours_109.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/2005_your_mine_ours_109.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/2005_your_mine_ours_017.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/2005_your_mine_ours_017.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Best Picture</span><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Winner: "Crash"<br /></span>Nothing against "Crash"... it was decent, but nothing special. I mean, it was nice to see Encino Man get some serious work and all but...I don't know, any movie that thinks having Ludacris free a bunch of immigrants locked in a van is somehow making a "statement" (besides utter hilarity) does not qualify for best picture.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Who Should Have Won: "Sin City"</span><br />Sin City had it all. Jessica Alba in a skimpy cowgirl outfit. The mom from "Spy Kids" walking around in her birthday suit. Frodo Baggins doing kung-fu before being eaten alive by guard dogs. It even featured a cameo by my favorite teacher from "Boston Public" playing a skin head who takes an arrow through the neck(B-Public Represent!). This movie ruled all.</span></span></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114168133350330021?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1140948919520502802006-02-26T05:00:00.000-05:002006-02-26T06:36:07.413-05:00Movie Hall Of Fame 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/angels1.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/angels1.1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Brody.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Brody.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Well, the time has come to induct another movie into my movie hall of fame. While it took me a while to find a movie up to the high standards I set with "Deep Blue Sea" I beleive I have found a film that is of equal caliber.<br /><br />And that film is "Angels in the Outfield."<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/angelsRS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/angelsRS.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>There are two main factors that make this one of the greatest movies of all time. I'll start with the most obvious: the plot.<br /><br />The main character is a child left at a foster home by his father who basically doesn't want him anymore. When he asks his dad when they will become a family again, the deadbeat dad replies "when the Angels win the pennant." The Angels are currently the worst team in baseball, so this means dad is never coming back.<br /><br />But, young foster child doesn't realize this and decides to pray for the Angels to win the pennant. So, angels, led by Doc from "Back to the Future" descend on the horrible Angels players and help them win. Brilliant. Young foster child and his pal JP hang out with Glover and get to watch every game from great seats since he is the only one who can see the angels. Glover also gives them a personal assistant to get them all the nachos they want and many hilarious scenes ensue of JP spilling food and squirting ketchup on the assistant, to the point where he has to where a poncho! This had me rolling.<br /><br />The next factor that adds to the movie's greatness is the cast. Danny Glover as the disgruntled manager, putting in one of his best performances this side of "Operation Dumbo Drop" alongside a heartbreaking performance by the one and only Tony Danza, as Mel Clark, the washed up pitcher.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/angels_in_the_outfield.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/angels_in_the_outfield.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Christopher Lloyd plays Al, the angel who talks to our younger foster hero, and his performance is groundbreaking as it is the first ever angel to come across as a child molester. Trust me, at the end of the movie when he waves his hands and tells the foster kids "We're always watching you" it's one of the creepiest moments I have ever seen put to film.<br /><br />Joining Danza on the Angels team are three actors you may have heard of: Adrien "The Nose" Brody, Mathew McConaughey and Neal McDonough. Neal "Tom Cruise rode on my jet pack in 'Minority Report'" McDonough plays a pitcher who has hilarious rituals before he pitches. Brody is the skinny guy who never plays until an angel helps him hit an inside the park home run. McConaughey plays the star outfielder who catches fly balls thanks to angels lifting him off the ground.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/neal.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/neal.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/brody.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/brody.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />They all show off their talents in this film, and it sad that only my boy Neal went on to any real success. You may have seen him star alongside The Rock in the 2004 classic "Walking Tall" or alongside Paul Walker in "Timeline."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/angelscollage2.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/angelscollage2.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />My boy Brody went on to stare at Naomi Watts for three hours in "King Kong" and star in some movie called "The Jacket." And McConaughey went from catching fly balls to slaying dragons in "Reign of Fire" and can be currently seen in previews for an upcoming flick where he stars alongside master thesbian Terry Bradshaw.<br /><br />Another great addition to the cast is asshole announcer Ranch Wilder, who, even though this is a disney movie, can be seen pouring hard liquor into his coffee mug before each game. Seriously, this movie is only a Dennis Quaid or a Stephen Dorff shy of having the greatest cast in film history.<br /><br />The last third of this movie really kept me on edge. Ranch Wilder tricks young JP into telling him about the angels. Of course, when the story is leaked to the public, many expect Danny Glover to resign at a press conference. Instead, he tosses aside his prepared speech and talks about the importance of faith. Then, the kids foster mother stands up and say that if "NFL players can point to the sky after a touchdown, then why can't there be angels out there " or something. Then, in a move that has never been done in any other movie, the players stand up one by one to show they support their coach.<br /><br />But, just when you think all is well for the Angels, midway through the championship game Al tells the young orphans that angels aren't aloud to help teams win championships. That God sure can be tricky sometimes. So, it is up to the Danza and the Angels to do it on their own.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/angels3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/angels3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />It is in the dugout that our young foster hero gets some troubling news from Al. When asking about Danza, Al replies "he's going to be one of us soon." So, with only a few minutes left in the movie, we learn Danza is going to be diagnosed with and die of lung cancer in sixth months. So THAT's why he was coughing earlier in the movie! Damn foreshadowing!<br /><br />So the movie ends with them winning the championship, and Glover adopting the two foster kids. Of course, finding out Danza is about to die kind of puts a damper on things.<br /><br />If you haven't seen this movie, I suggest you purchase it immidiatly. It was so good it spawned a sequal, "Angels in the Endzone." And though it doesn't have Brody or Danza in it, it does have the middle Lawrence brother.<br /><br />If you have seen this master piece of cinema, feel free to share your thoughts below. Also, if you have any suggestions for the Movie Hall of Fame post those as well.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114094891952050280?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1140487465328293042006-02-20T20:53:00.000-05:002006-02-20T21:59:36.413-05:00Bring It On! Nascar and Olympic Controversy<div style="text-align: left;">Well, the most worthless event in all of sports took place this weekend. Yes, thats right, the Daytona 500. And no, I didn't watch, but thanks to Sportscenter's nonstop coverage, I got a hell of a big Nascar fix last night. So what was all this controversy about? Apparently, these Nascar driver's gossip and talk about each other more than those cheerleaders in that movie "Bring it on."<br /><br />Nascar's own Samwise Gamgee, Tony Stewart, apparently whined to the media before the race about how they were all going to die due to other drivers practicing unsafe driving. Wow, dude, Nascar driving is unsafe? That's news to me. Who would have thought that driving 200 MPH, around a crowded track with concrete walls would be unsafe?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Tony.Stewart.384.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Tony.Stewart.384.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Tony Stewart, from the Shire to the Daytona 500<br /><br /></span></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/lotr-rotk-astin1.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/lotr-rotk-astin1.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>But anyway, after taking time off from tending to Frodo's garden, Stewart was penalized multiple times for unsafe driving during the 500. So, after complaining that other drivers were unsafe, he turned in a Billy Joel worthy driving performance. To make matters worse, Jimmie Johnson, who won the race, did so after his crew cheif (whatever that means) was suspended for helping him cheat.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/johnson-wins.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/johnson-wins.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"> Johnson, giving it up to the Notogious B.I.G. upon victory</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Now, Johnson, Gamgee, and all the other Nascar driver's whose bitchy and moany press conferences ruined my Sportscenter viewing need to know one thing. They are not atheletes. They drive cars around in a circle trying not to die, while Larry the Cable guy drinks Busch Light and watches. This "contoversy" is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. Instead of acting like rival high school cheerleaders, these dudes should get together, Twisted Metal style, and solve their problems instead of ruining Barry Melrose's screen time.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/maple-a37e7611-380x330.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/maple-a37e7611-380x330.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">If it's not hockey it's a waste of ice.</span><br /></div><br />The other big topic of the day came from the world of men's speedskating. Well, I guess their technically isn't really a "world" of men's speed skating, but you know what I mean. American Shani Davis became the first individual African-American to win an Olympic medal. But to do so, he skipped a team event, making rival American skater Chad Hendrick mad. So mad, he didn't even congradulate Davis on his win. <span style="font-style: italic;">OOOOOOOOO</span>. Again, I ask the same question. Who cares?<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/0-chad-hedrick-celebrates-5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/0-chad-hedrick-celebrates-5.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Chad Hendrick....Douchebag.</span><br /><br /></div> There really is no point in skating on ice if you aren't going to play hockey. And I don't see the big deal about Davis being the first African-American to win a medal. I'm pretty sure the movie "Cool Runnings" already broke down any racial stereotypes about the winter Olympics. Besides, because of Jackie Robinson, African-Americans were able to be seen as equal athletes and baseball was desegregated. I don't really foresee a bunch of teenage youth all of a sudden taking up speed skating because of Davis' win.<br /><br />I just can't beleive how petty these guys participating in worthless sports can be. Arguing and talking smack is one thing if you're a baller like Lebron James, throwing down dunks and hanging out with Jay-Z, buts its another thing when you drive around in an Old Spice jump suit or skate around an empy rink in a spandex suit.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-114048746532829304?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1139274739979885492006-02-06T19:57:00.000-05:002006-02-06T20:52:12.513-05:00Enduring Skating With Celebrities<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/fox_logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/fox_logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/060118insider2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/060118insider2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">The ewok himself</span><br /></div><br />Tonight's theme is "Songs from the top 40."<br /><br />As soon as I hear these words, and see that ewok Scott Hamilton, I know I'm in trouble.<br /><br />It's Monday night, 8 p.m. There are many things I should be doing. Studying. Reading. Working out. Eathing. Bathing. Listenting to Lil' Wayne. But no. For some reason, I have decided to write a blog while enduring the trainwreck known as "Skating With Celebrities."<br /><br />1st up: Kristy Swanson.<br />I'm pretty sure I saw her in "Playboy" once. I think the only things I know about her besides what her boobs like is that she used to date Mike Modano and that she starred alongside Charlie Sheen in that movie "The Chase."<br /><br />She doesn't fall. I am not entertained. I want to turn off the TV and do something with my life. But I can't. Dave Coulier, former "Full House" star is coming up. I can't stop watching now. Damn Coulier.<br /><br />And we're back. Swanson gets the "highest scores in the show ever." I don't quite understand what they mean when they say "artistic" scores. What on earth is artistic about B-list celebs dumping around the ice dressed like rodeo clowns?<br /><br />Anyway, up next is Fox Sports Commentator (a.k.a. sleeps with Tom Arnold as well as any producer who is offering work) Jillian Barbarie. I hope she falls. She doesn't. But according to the ewok known as Scott Hamilton "A lot of pain, a lot of gain" or something like that. I can only hope I make it to Coulier without gauging my eyes out.<br /><br />Hmm...it appears one of the judges, some old dude, is a member of the Figure Skating Hall of Fame. I didn't know such a hall of fame exsisted. I don't think I'd even admit to being a part of it if I was inducted. Being a member of the Figure Skating Hall of Fame has got to give you about as much street cred as being a member of the Convicted Sex Offenders Hall of Fame.<br /><br />It is now 8:27 p.m. I'm almost halfway through.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/PH2006011701724.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/PH2006011701724.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Coulier...what else can I say?</span><br /></div><br />However, just as I am about to give up, they begin showing clips from past Coulier performances. Oh man, that Coulier is just a barrell of laughs. I'll never understand why his career never took off after "Full House."<br /><br />And here they are. Uncle Joey and Nancy Kerrigan skating to Outkast's "Hey Ya." Classic. Coulier has about as much rythm as Al Gore. I thought I could count on him for a fall, but apparently not.<br /><br />The judges tear them a new one, but at least Coulier has "made a lot of improvement on his lunge." Whatever the hell that means.<br /><br />"They just skated to Outkast, but will they be outcast from the show?" With these words the ewok sends us to a commercial break. I can't beleive it's only 8:35. With Coulier's performance over, I'm not sure how I am going to get through the next 25 minutes.<br /><br />Next up: Bruce Jenner. Only one thought crosses my mind. Who the fuck is Bruce Jenner? I don't know, but I sure as shit am not sticking around to find out. I've got some NHL action on channel 70: Dallas vs. Nashville. I'm going to have to bail. Sorry Coulier. I guess I'll never know if you were "outcast" from the show.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113927473997988549?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1139268498062150682006-02-06T18:25:00.000-05:002006-02-06T19:55:39.556-05:00Great Moments In Mighty Ducks History Part I<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/ducks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/ducks.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"The Mighty Ducks," along with its two stellar sequels, "D2" and "D3" are among the greatest films ever produced. They influenced our generation in countless ways, and it pains me to know that this younger generation is growing up on movies like "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D" and "Finding Nemo."</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;">Everyone knows no movies taught more valuable life lessons than the "Mighty Ducks" trilogy.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family:georgia;">Let's start with "D1." There is a beginning scene where a prick lawyer, Emilio Es</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">tevez is driving while slamming some road sodas and is pulled over. As his punishment, he is forced to coach a hockey team of a rag tag group of young kids. Of course, he ends up coaching them to victory and banging his star player's mom in the process.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lesson #1</span>: Drunk driving is sweet. It gets you a free coaching gig and piece of Charlie Conway's mom.</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><br />Another great part of the film is the way it deals with race. This movie I believe helped the youth of our generation overcome racial stereotypes and live in harmony with one another. Case in point: Jesse and Terry. The team's two black players. Of course, the Disney folks aimed to shatter all stereotypes by making Jesse and Terry from a </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">poor family where their janitor father has to work two jobs just so they can play.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">My favorite quote comes from early in the movie, at a face-off between the ducks and their opposing team. Jesse and Terry are at left and right wing. The opposing center of the Hawks asks the blaring question "What is this, the oreo line?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Now, as a child, I couldn't get over the utter hilarity of referring to a hockey line as a cookie. However, upon further review, I realize this may have been a racial slur. The IMDB has a list of quotes from the film, and here is another good one.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jesse:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"Yo dude! You obviousl</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">y in the wrong hood. This is my dominion, and it's a drug free zone. You understand? Now I'm feelin' generous today. So I'm gonna let you get your sorry vanilla booty out of here before we be usin' your eyeballs as hockey pucks!"</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><br />So what can we take away from this?</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lesson #2</span>: Black people are poor, live in the hood, and it is ok to make fun of them during youth hockey games.</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><br />If you've seen any of the three films, then you are quite aware of the star goalie, Goldberg. He is the ducks, fat, out of shape, Jewish goal tender who never seems to make any saves. He can never keep up with is teammates whenever they embark on their rollerblading shenanigans. If I remember correctly his family also owns a deli.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br />Here is a great exchange of quotes between Estevez and Goldberg, after Estevez has taped Goldberg to the goal so that he is forced to get hit by pucks.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Goldberg:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"My mother is not gonna approve of this, Coach! She wants me to live to be Bar Mitzvah'd!"<br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Estev</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >ez:</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br />"This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg. Today, you become a man. "</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" ><br />Goldberg:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"No. I think you've got the ceremonies mixed up. This is more like a CIRCUMCISION."</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">And so we come to<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Lesson #3</span>: Jews have no athletic ability and all own deli's, and it is ok to tie children up and barrage them with hockey pucks.</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/videos.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/videos.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">My personal favorite moment comes from "D3." I can't remember the quote word for word, and it's not at IMDB, but it goes something like this:<br /><br /></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Charlie:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"Do you like Pantera?"</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Girl:</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;">"Yeah, they are one of my fa</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">vorites!"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Now, like I said, this isn't the direct quote, but the message is still clear. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lesson #4</span>: chicks love metal. Yes, young, hot females love the sounds of heroin fueled rednecks screaming and Jack Daniels induced guitar shredding. It is this life lesson th</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">at has helped me become so successful with the ladies. As soon as I am in a conversation with a fine honey, I make sure to ask them if they like Pantera. I also like to take Charlie's line one step further and ask if they are a fan of the album "Butchered at Birth" by Cannibal Corpse, or if they enjoyed the last Black Dhalia Murder CD.</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><br />However, in all seriousness, it is speeches like th</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">ese that really taught me how to be a better man. From one of the many touching scenes in "D3":<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Estevez:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"I was like you, Charlie. When I played hockey, I was a total hot shot... tried to take control of every game. I wound up quitting. So I tried the law. Same thing. I ruled the courtroom, but inside I was a mess. Started drinking. Man, I was going down. But then this great thing happened, maybe the best thing ever: I got arrested and sentenced to community service. And there you were: Charlie and the Ducks. And as hard as I fought it, there you were. You gave me a life, Charlie, and I want to say thank you. I told Orien about all this when I talked to him about takin</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">g over. I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man."<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Charlie:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">"You did?"</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" ><br />Estevez:</span> <span style="font-family:georgia;"><br />"So be that man, Charlie. Be that man."<br /><br />And it is with that touching moment that we have come to our final lesson of part I, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lesson #5</span>: Be that man. Be that man. Well, I am trying Estevez, I really am. I only hope I have done my part to act like the real Minnesota Miracle Man. Now let's go out there and win this one for Hans. </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113926849806215068?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1137912233436916332006-01-22T01:23:00.000-05:002006-01-22T01:43:53.450-05:00Advancements in Coal Mining TechnologyOk...I'm just going to come out and say what I think has been on everyone in America's minds for the last few weeks since the coal mining tragedy...<br /><br />If we can put a man on the moon, split the atom, figure out the human genome, cure disease, and clone sheep...Why the hell can't we figure out a way to get coal out of the ground without anybody dying?<br /><br />I mean, I don't want any hard working people to lose their jobs, and I am in no way trying to make light of the current tragedy. It just seems that their haven't been any advancements in coal mining technology since, I don't know, the invention of the hardhat and the elevator? Why can we not figure out a way to make mining coal safe? If we can build billion dollar robots that patrol other planets, isn't there a way we can make a robot to get coal out of the ground? So people don't have to die trying?<br /><br />Just a thought.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113791223343691633?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1137464863651426502006-01-16T21:24:00.000-05:002006-01-16T21:27:43.666-05:00Infiltrating the Meat Factory<i style="">Meathead <>:<span style=""> </span>College-aged male, weighing at least 175 lbs, having a below average IQ and above average sized biceps. Often they sport at least one tribal tattoo, most commonly around the bicep or on the upper back. They communicate with each other in a strange language last used by cavemen in the late cretaceous period.<br /><o:p></o:p></i><br /><i style="">Meat Factory <>: Any location where a large number of meatheads are gathered.<o:p></o:p></i><br /><o:p> </o:p><br />When I think of spring break, I think of good-looking people dancing, making out, binge drinking, and hooking up with each other. But not me. I am not one of these people. While I would definitely partake in the binge drinking, I probably wouldn’t do much else, being too shy to and unattractive to participate in said debauchery. Besides, I figured that kind of behavior was strictly for meatheads to enjoy.<br /><br />And for the first half my 2005 spring break, I was strictly an observer of all meaty activity. Until one drunken afternoon, my loyal cohort Sweeny and I, after losing our battle with a bottle of Two Fingers tequila, decided to infiltrate the Meat Factory.<br /><br />Only a few hours earlier, it had merely been a pool. Most of the spring-breakers, including us, were relaxing poolside, catching some rays. But by late afternoon, with no footballs to throw around, the meatheads had grown restless and decided they needed to cool off. Apparently, one of them had discovered the hotel pool was the perfect place to view all of the rooms’ balconies.<br />Their next genius discovery was that if enough of them chanted “show your tits” at unsuspecting females standing on these balconies, some of them actually would. As we sat poolside, clutching our bottle of Two Fingers, we watched in awe as every meathead in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Panama City</st1:place></st1:City> gathered in the pool. Their chants began to grow louder, and much to our surprise, the girls not only showed their assets to the Meat Factory, some even went up to their balconies in hopes the chants of “show your tits” would be aimed at them. All self-respecting members of society had fled the area as soon as the spectacle began, leaving the Meat Factory in complete control of the area.<br /><br />Sweeny and I sat in amazement at the events unfolding before our eyes. Getting a girl to remove any article of clothing in my presence had always been a difficult task, and now here I was, watching girls disrobe and all it took were the grunts of a group of Cro-Magnons. I looked over at Sweeny in disgust. I could see in his eyes he felt the same way. We began hitting the bottle hard.<br /><br />I’m not sure whose idea was to enter the Meat Factory. But as soon as the idea surfaced, it was as if a higher power was calling us to that pool. Standing 5 foot 6, weighing a buck thirty, I was no meathead. Standing well over 6 feet tall, but somehow weighing around the same as me, Sweeny was <i style="">definitely</i> no meathead. In fact, he bared an uncanny resemblance to a stork. We sat back and forth, debating.<br /><br />“Benson, dude we should totally go in there.”<br /><br /><span style=""> </span>“Sweeny, no way.”<br /><br /><span style=""> </span>“Yeah, you’re probably right.”<br /><br /><span style=""> </span>“No man, maybe we should go in.”<br /><br />“Alright man, let’s go.<br /><br />“Jesus Christ, are we really going in there?”<br /><br />“Fuck it; I’ll do if you do it.” I couldn’t say no to that. It was on. My bird-like friend and I got up and jumped into the pool, too inebriated to worry about what the consequences might be. Would the meatheads sense their holy land had been infiltrated? Would they throw us out? Drown us? Eat us? Would our scrawny bodies be able to yell and grunt loud enough? Would girls stop showing their breasts once they saw a skinny Jew and a stork staring back up at them?<br />Much to our surprise, the meatheads embraced us as one of their own. Apparently, our interest in half naked girls was all we needed to become one with the Meat Factory. Soon we were chanting along with the rest of them.<br /><br />It was a surreal, almost out-of-body experience for me – partly because of the amount of alcohol I had consumed, but mainly because it was the first time I let go of my inhibitions altogether. I wasn’t shy. I was a loud, obnoxious, frat boy yelling at random girls to show me their chests - something I though was “beneath me” and immature. Remarkably the meatheads, who I had always been jealous of for their looks, ability to have no dignity whatsoever, and their talents with women, were not the mean, brutish cavemen I thought they were. They were nice, brutish cavemen.<br /><br />Then things got weird. Sweeny became not only one of the pack, but rather the leader of the pack. His ability to come up with new and improved chants left the meatheads hanging on his every word. The meatheads, who we always thought were superior to us, were now our minions, listening to Sweeny’s every command, amazed that “show your tits” wasn’t the only thing you could say to coerce a girl into taking her top off.<br /><br />While it lasted, it was paradise. But no parade of shirtless girls can last forever. Security was called because apparently our behavior was lewd and disruptive. We were all unceremoniously kicked out of the pool, and the Meat Factory became a pool once again<br /><br />And so my adventure came to an end. I had learned a profound lesson that would stick with me the rest of my life. Ok, so it wasn’t really that profound of a lesson. And I’ll probably forget the entire spring break by the time I’m 25. But as someone who had spent his teens and early college years watching the fun others were having with a jealous eye, it was nice to finally let loose.<br /><br /><span style=""> </span>I felt a sense of triumph as well; we had been able to have a successful interaction with the meatheads we had felt at odds with our entire lives. I at last came to understand their meaty ways, and no longer felt threatened by their kind. In fact, I felt as if I was a 50 pounds and one tattoo shy of being one myself. Plus, I saw more breasts in that one afternoon than I had seen in my entire life.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113746486365142650?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1136753983318857482006-01-08T15:12:00.000-05:002006-01-08T21:05:00.576-05:00The Best and Worst of 2005<span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Well, it's 2006.</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > A new year, a new lil' Wayne album, and a fresh start. But before we all start listening to </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Tha Carter 2</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > and moving on w</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ith our lives, let us take a long look back at the best and worst of what 2005 had to offer. Back by popular demand (from himself) is the elder, who will be adding his own brand of white collar flavor to the mix.</span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >TV</span><br /><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Sitcom<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Home Improvement</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > reruns. Mostly for Al Borland's Confucious-like wisdom and Jonathon Taylor Thomas' dreamy looks.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Freddie</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >.</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > It’s a can’t miss formula:<span style=""> </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Freddie Pr</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >inze Jr. make</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >s a joke, while Brian Austin Green stands out of camera-focus in the background.<span style=""> </span>Green then either comes to the forefront with a comedic gem, or the producers just dress him up in drag or an</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >other costume for kicks.Yes, I watch a show that starts Freddie Prinze Jr. and Brian Austin Green.<span style=""> </span>And yes, I think it’s damn funny</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:georgia;">.</span><span style=""> </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/abc-freddie.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/abc-freddie.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Hour Long Drama<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >House</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >. I've caught it a few times and it held my attention. Plus, it stars Omar Epps, who starred with Samuel L. Jackson in </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Juice</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > back in the day, as well as </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >The Program</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, which was hilarious, especially the part where that meatstick goes on a roid rage and throws some broad into a wall.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Lost. </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Great storylines, amazing writing, ominous cliffhang</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ers, hot female leads, and it’s all set on an island with monsters, polar bears, and OTHERS.<span style=""> </span>What’s not to love?<span style=""> </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Reality Show:<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bonaduce.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>This show owned my life. I wa</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >tched it, and re-watched it nonstop. Favorite moment- when he rides a skateboar</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >d shirtless throug</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >h traffic to a liquor store, then slams vodka and cranberry juice on the sidewalk with deftones playing in the</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > background. Or the time he takes steroids. Or the time h</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >e puts on his dog's electric collar and his son starts zapping him. Dammit I could g</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >o on foreve</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >r. I have many honorable mentions, as all I watch is reality TV. A & E pretty much owns in that department, with the Trifecta of <span style="font-style: italic;">Intervention</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Dog the Bounty Hunter</span>, and <span style="font-style: italic;">Criss Angel: Mindfreak. </span>VH1 has also put forth many quality reality shows, such as <span style="font-style: italic;">Celebrity Fit Club</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Surreal Life.</span> And of course if you read this blog then you already know how I feel about<span style="font-style: italic;"> The </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Big</span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">gest</span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">Loser.</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/danny_bonaduce.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/danny_bonaduce.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Contender%202%20sfist.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Contender%202%20sfist.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Elder Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;">The Contender</span><span style="font-style: italic;">. </span></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I might have been the only person in the country who watched this while it was on.<span style=""> </span>Damn shame cuz it was so good.<span style=""> </span>A juiced-up Sly trains real-life boxers.<span style=""> </span>Who knew that playing a boxer in movies qualified you to do that?<span style=""> </span>Apparently there is a pilot floating around the networks in which Sly trains <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">New York City</st1:city></st1:place> police officers on how to best defend the Lincoln Tunnel.<span style=""> </span>Apparently his work on the movie <i style="">Daylight</i> has made him an expert<span style="">.<br /></span></span><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Worst Show<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost</span>. This show is fucking lame. Mark my words, while it may be popular now, lets not forget so was </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >the Macarena</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > at one point. 5 years from now, pe</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ople w</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ill look back on </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Lost</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > the</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > same way.<br /><br /></span><font><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Score hosted by Ryan Cabrera. </span>Ryan Cabrera has been public enemy #1 in this blog many times, so it shouldn’t come as that big of a shock that I thought his show sucked even more then his music.<span style=""> </span>Basically, Ryan “get me another <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">New Castle</st1:city></st1:place>” Cabrera hosts a game-show where he helps kids write songs.<span style=""> </span>They then play the songs for someone of the opposite sex, in hopes that their song will win them a date.<span style=""> </span>Each show ends with him “playing the show out.”<span style=""> </span>Great! Every time you watch you get a live performance from the half-retarded wannabe son that Joe Simpson never had!<span style=""> </span>I don’t even know if this show is still on-air, but I imagine Ryan ran out of songs to “play you guys out with.”<span style=""> </span>Either that or the producers didn’t provide him with enough hair products so he could make himself look less of a midget.<o:p></o:p> <font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Film</span></span><br /><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Movie<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Batman Begins. </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >This was pretty much a wet dream, from start to finish.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Crash. </span>Not much needs to be said here.<span style=""> </span>This movie was amazing.<span style=""> </span>If you haven’t seen it, go rent it. You’ll surely be hearing a lot about it come Oscar time.<o:p> </o:p><br /><font><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Worst Movie<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >It's a tie for "Oscar favorites" </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Brokeback Mounta</span><font><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >i</span><font><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >n</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > and</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Memoirs of a Geisha</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, n</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >either of which I have any desire to see. But from the t</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >railers I saw, I got the two</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > most god awful lines in movie history stuck in my head. If I hear "A true geisha can stop a man in his tracks with a single look" again I'll stick a samurai sword down my throa</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >t. And don't even get me started on that ape Jake Gyllenwhatever yelling "Why can't I quit you" in the worst southern accent ever attempted by an actor in the <span style="font-style: italic;">Brokeback Mountain</span> preview.<br /><br /></span><font><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Herbie: Fully Loaded.</span> No, I didn’t see this movie.<span style=""> </span>But it was clear from the trailers on TV that this was the worst movie of 2005.<span style=""> </span>I don’t care how hot Lindsay Lohan is, you still can’t pay me to see a movie that features her, a computer generated talking car, Michael “Multiplicity” Keaton, and the guy from <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Garfield</st1:city></st1:place>!<span style=""> </span>I can only hope that whoever gave this movie the green-light is no longer employed in <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Holl</st1:city></st1:place><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">ywood</st1:city></st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>Side note:<span style=""> </span>Lohan, please stop making music.<span style=""> </span>You are horrible. <font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/luda.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/luda.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/BrokebackMountain_poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/BrokebackMountain_poster.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Actor<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >The almighty Dennis Quaid. Over Christmas I caught three Quaid flo</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ps on HBO at my parents house. </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Flight of the Pheonix,</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Cold Creek Manor</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, and </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In Good Company</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >. Quaid also ended the year strongly with another flop, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Yours, Mine and Ours</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >. Only Quaid has the balls to rip off<span style="font-style: italic;"> Cheaper By the Dozen</span>. But Quaid was the tits in</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Dragonheart</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >. Bottem line: Quaid rules, and I will watch him in anything, even if it is just him bossing around Tyre</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >se in the desert or</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > punching the kid from the 70's show in the grill.</span><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Sidenote: <span style="font-style: italic;">Cold Creek Manor </span>pitts Quaid against another favor</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >ti</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >e actor of mine, Stephen Dorff. Dorff is best known </span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >as the boyfriend in Britney Spears' "E</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >verytime" video and from the failed thriller <span style="font-style: italic;">Fear</span></span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">DotCom -</span> which I proudly can say I saw in th</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >eaters.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Jack Black. </span>Young Benson thinks the best actor of ’05 is Randy Quaid’s younger brother Dennis.<span style=""> </span>I must disagree.<span style=""> </span>Think about what Quaid did this year:<span style=""> </span><i style="">Yours, Mine and Ours, Flight of the Phoenix, In Good Company</i><i style="">, The Day After Tomorrow, The Alamo, Cold Creek Manor</i>...how can we even be talking about Quaid for best actor?<span style=""> </span>He deserves <b style="">Man of The Year</b>!<span style=""> </span>It takes a special person, with a special talent for picking movies to make those duds.<span style=""> </span>I really don’t have much to say about Jack Black except this:<span style=""> </span>It wasn’t the planes…it was beauty that killed the beast.<span style=""> </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Dennis%20Quaid.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Dennis%20Quaid.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/quiad%20dragonheart%202.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/quiad%20dragonheart%202.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Wor</span><font><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >st Actor<br /><br /></span><font><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Ludacris. Or as he was billed in<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><font>the overrated</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font> Crash</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font>, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges. Somehow I just didn't find the CEO of Disturbing Tha Peace records too convincing in a serious role. I'm not sure how rapping about fried chicken and beer and being a multi-millionaira qualifies you to play a car theif. The best performance from "Crash" was from Tony Danza.<br /><br /><font><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Hayden Christiansen.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></sp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Hayden,<br /></span><o:p></o:p>You cannot act.<span style=""> </span>My brother would have played a better Anakin Skywalker.<span style=""> </span><br /><o:p></o:p>Best regards,<o:p></o:p><br />Elder Benson</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font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</span><font></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >Music</span><br /><font></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Metal Album<br /><br /></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><font>A Life Once Lost -</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ></span><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font> </span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Hunter. This album melts face. Pure Brutality. In a year in which I began listening to softer and weaker music, this album made me realize why I loved metal so much in the first place. Darkest Hour's </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Undoing Ruin </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >has to take the runner up spot, though it easily could have been my top pick as well. Ho</span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >norable mentions go to Trivium's</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Ascendancy, </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >God Forbid's</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > IV: Constitution of Treason, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Chimaira's</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Chimaira</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, and DevilDriver's </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >The Fury of Our Makers Hand.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Darkest Hour</span><font> - Undoing Ruin. </span><font>This is more of a Young Benson category as my black-t-shirt metal days are pretty much behind me (I say pretty much and not completely because I still rock classic In Flames and Amorphis albums daily).</span><span style=""> </span>However, if one band kept metal listeners everywhere playing air guitar in their room, it was Darkest Hour.<span style=""> </span><i style="">Undoing Ruin</i> not only melts face, but also melts body. Darkest Hour owns A Life Once Lost.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/undoing%20ruin.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/undoing%20ruin.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/huneter.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/huneter.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/fight.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/fight.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Metalcore Album<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Fight Paris -</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Paradise, Found.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >These guys aren't really metalcore, more ju</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >st straight up rock and roll, but since they're on Trustkill Records I'll just throw them in this catagory. This album is nonstop for start to finish. Great riffs, great lyrics. Every song is about either sex, drugs, or rock and roll. It doesn't get any better than that. Other good metalcore albums of note would have to be </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >The Darkest Red</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > by The Agony Scene, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Of Love and Lunacy</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > by Still Remains, and </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Gutter Phenomenon</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > by Every Time I Die (although like Fight Paris, they are more straight up Rock and Roll).<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Haste the Day - </span><span style="font-style: italic;">When Everything Falls</span>. Tough category, there were so many good metalcore albums in 2005.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>That being said, even my Jewishness couldn’t prevent me from falling hard for the Christian Metal scene.<span style=""> </span><i style="">Wh</i><i style="">en Everything Falls</i> is a flawless album.<span style=""> </span>Good screams.<span style=""> </span>Good clean vocals.<span style=""> </span>Good riffs.<span style=""> </span>Plus, a great cover song.<span style=""> </span>Haste the Day slays.Runner Up:<span style=""> </span>Still Remains – <span style="font-style: italic;">Of Love and Lunacy.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Screamo Album<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >UnderOath - </span><span style="font-style: italic;">They're Only Chasing Safety.</span> This came out in 04, but was recently re-released in October so it still counts. UnderOath owns this genre, hands down. Other notable screamo albums this year would have to be Emery's <span style="font-style: italic;">The Question</span>, Boys Night Out's <span style="font-style: italic;">Trainwreck</span>, Aiden's <span style="font-style: italic;">Nightmare Anatamy</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Hours </span>by Funeral for a Friend.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Silverstein -</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> Discovering the Waterfront. </span>2005 will probably be remembered as the year of Screamo.<span style=""> </span>This genre is well on its way to mall punk status.<span style=""> </span>It should be hilarious seeing fat teenagers trying to pull off the tight-indy-t and converse chucks wardrobe.<span style=""> </span>Even if the fans are starting to suck, there is still a lot of good music here.<span style=""> </span>Like Young Benson said, Underoath can’t be touched in this genre.<span style=""> </span>But since their album did originally come out in ’04, I’m going to give someone else a shot.<span style=""> </span>Silverstein, you’re up.<span style=""> </span>Even though you share a name with the guy that wrote “Where the Sidewalk Ends” and “The Giving Tree” (staples of the Benson childhood mind you), you still put out one helluva record.<br />Runner Up: Funeral for A Friend - <span style="font-style: italic;">Hours</span><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Best Pop-Punk Album<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Anberlin - </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Never Take Frendship Personal</span>. I'm embarrassed to even have this category, but a good album is a good album. Runners up for me in this category would have to be Panic! at the Disco who released <span style="font-style: italic;">A Fever You Can't Sweat Out</span> fairly recently and The Academy Is... <span style="font-style: italic;">Almost Here</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >The Academy Is...</span><span style="font-style: italic;">Almost Here. </span>Unlike my young brother, I’m not at all embarrassed by this category.<span style=""> </span>With that said The Academy Is... runs away with the win here.<span style=""> </span><i style="">Almost Here</i> is a great record.<span style=""> </span>2006 is going to be a big year for this band, you’ll see. Honorable Mention:<span style=""> </span>Anberlin – <span style="font-style: italic;">Never Take Friendship Personal</span>, Fall Out Boy – <span style="font-style: italic;">From Under the Cork Tree.</span><br /><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Guiltly Pleasure Album<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson: </span>Mae - <span style="font-style: italic;">The Everglow</span>. Yeah, thats right, Mae. My feelings on this band have changed since I wrote about them in my Warped Tour review, and I'm not proud of it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson: </span>Avenged Sevenfold - <span style="font-style: italic;">City of Evil. </span>I’ve done a complete 180 in my opinion of this band.<span style=""> </span>While I used to hate these guys, I’m pretty much hooked on this album now.<span style=""> </span>But I will always side with Atreyu in the war for <st1:place st="on"></st1:place><st1:placename st="on">Orange</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">County</st1:placetype>.<br /><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span>Albums from 2004 that were most listened to in 2005<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson</span>: Alexisonfire<span style="font-style: italic;"> - Watch Out!, </span>The Acacia Strain - <span style="font-style: italic;">3750.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson: </span>Atreyu - <span style="font-style: italic;">The Curse</span>, He is Legend - <span style="font-style: italic;">I Am Hollywood</span>, Rise Against - <span style="font-style: italic;">Siren Song of the Counter Culture</span>. If this category was a Drowningman or even a Fall Out Boy song, it would probably be titled “Albums I’m kicking Myself for Ignoring When They Came Out, but Then My Brother Made Me Listen To Them and Now I’m Obsessed.”<span style=""> </span>I listened to the above albums as much or more then anything released in 2005.<span style=""> </span>Usually I’m ahead of the curve when it comes to music, but with these CD’s I completely dropped the ball.<span style=""> </span>Hey, it happens to the best of us.<span style=""> </span><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Album so Good it's Actually Worth Buying<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson: </span>Coheed and Cambria - <span style="font-style: italic;">Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV...<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson: </span>For once we agree.<span style=""> </span>Coheed is probably the best band on the planet right now.<span style=""> </span>And yes, that means they’re better then Coldplay.<span style=""><br /><br /></span> <font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Most Surprisingly Good Album</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span> Story of the Year - <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In the Wake of Determination.<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">: </span>Where the hell did this CD come from? I had no idea Story of the Year had this kind of record in them.<span style=""> </span>It’s hard to imagine this is from the same band that released “Until the Day I Die.”<span style=""> </span>Good work gentlemen.<br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Worst Album<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson: </span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Hilary Duff - </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Most Wanted</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >. I'm calling bullshit on this one, Duff. Releasing a greatest hits CD after only two albums? Damn it Duff, its gon</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >na take more than just three original tracks to satisfy my appetite for shitty pop music. In 2006, I expect at least 6 new tracks from you, or else I'm quitting the fan club. And for the record, drop that freeloading hooker sister of yours with the bum nose who keeps trying to capatalize on your fame.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Elder Benson:</span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > Finch - </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Say Hello to Sunshine.</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/finch%20say%20hello%20to%20sunshine.0.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/finch%20say%20hello%20to%20sunshine.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/duff.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/duff.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br />Top Ten Songs</span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Benson:</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 1. Comeback Kid "Wake the Dead"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 2. Mae "Breakdown"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 3. Every Time I Die "Kill the Music"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 4. Fight Paris "Fuck me Stillettos"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 5. Between the Buried and Me "Selkies: The Endless Obsession"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 6. Reggie and the Full Effect "Get Well Soon"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 7. Alkaline Trio "Mercy Me"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 8. A Life Once Lost "Vulture"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 9. As I Lay Dying "Confined"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 10. Panic! At the Disco "Time to Dance"</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><br />Elder Benson:<br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >1. The Hurt Process "You Don't Get Gold for Second Place"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 2. The Academy Is... "Checkmarks"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 3. Coheed and Cambria "Ten Speed"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 4. Darkest Hour "Sound the Surrender"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 5. Haste the Day "When Everything Falls"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 6. Boys Night Out "Medicating"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 7. Acceptance "The Letter"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 8. 30 Seconds to Mars "Attack"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 9. Still Remains "Recovery"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > 10. Paramore "Here We Go Again"<br /><br />Well that's it. Be back soon with more words of wisdom.<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113675398331885748?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1133178049312696462005-11-28T06:19:00.000-05:002005-11-28T07:09:16.883-05:00Movie Hall of FameToday I would like to induct a movie into my own personal movie hall of fame. It is an underrated classic. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Deep Blue Sea</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/poster.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I forgot how classic this movie was. Luckily, I was able to catch it at around 3 in the morning the other night. With programming like this, it's no wonder TBS is know as the "superstation." Of course, my recent late night viewing of "Deep Blue Sea" was not my first. I remember seeing this screen gem in the theaters back in the day. And by "the day" I mean the day when a Samuel L. Jackson movie was not to be missed...before the Samuel L. dark ages came upon us with"The Man" and "XXX 2."<br /><br />Anyway, the premise of "Deep Blue Sea" is genius. It is about an underwater lab, financed by millionaire Samuel L, where a chick scientist looking to cure Alzheimers genetically enhances shark brains. Of course, the sharks become too smart and decide to break out of their caged-in area and kill all the scientists inside, as well as the cook who likes to talk to the lord and has a parrot on his shoulder. To make things even better the cook is played by Oscar winning actor LL Cool J. Oh yeah, and it was directed by the guy who directed "Cliffhanger."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/saffron_burrows_samuel_l_jackson_thomas_jane_michael_rapaport_deep_blue_sea_001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/saffron_burrows_samuel_l_jackson_thomas_jane_michael_rapaport_deep_blue_sea_001.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />So anyway, once shit hits the fan, the group bands together in an attempt to escape the underwater lab which is being flooded by the smart sharks. This group includes Michael "Higher Learning/Boston Public" Rapaport and Thomas "The Punisher" Jane as well as some girl scientists who I don't think have ever been in any other movies.<br /><br />So anyway, the reasons this movie are great are as follows:<br /><br />1. Samuel L. gives a touching speech about how when he was trapped in an avalanche, "Seven people survived. Only five made it out alive." He then goes on to talk about how man is more cruel then nature, and gives an inspiring speech about sticking together. But he gives this speech next to some open water and as soon as he is done a shark pops out and eats him faster than he can say "Muthafucker!" I think the only time I have ever cried during a movie was at this moment, when I sat in the theater realizing that I had to sit through another hour "Deep Blue Sea" with only LL Cool J and Rapaport to watch. Besides if you had a movie with LL Cool J and Samuel L in it, who would you kill?<br /><br />2. The scene where LL Cool J as the cook, wanders the halls of the underwater lab alone, swigging on some wine. Then, he hears a rumble and notices some water on the ground. He then throws the bottle aside, and apologizes to the Lord for drinking and vows to stop. Then, he gets trapped in a flooded kitchen with a smart shark and decides to hide in the oven. But the shark is so smart, it decides to turn the oven on. But, luckily for LL, there is an axe inside the oven so he breaks through the top of the oven and escapes. Then, he blows up the smart shark and says "You killed my bird." Classic.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/ll_cool_j_deep_blue_sea_001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/ll_cool_j_deep_blue_sea_001.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>3. The scene where everyone sits around arguing about the sharks. They don't realize the sharks are smart. Then the chick scientist breaks the news, incurring the wrath of Samuel L. I seriously laughed out loud as she is brought to tears explaining how by genetically adding protein to sharks brains, she can cure disease, saying "you have no idea how many people I can save." Her plan makes about as much sense as Bush's exit strategy, and you can tell the screenwriter's really weren't sure how to explain their genius "smart shark" idea.<br /><br />I could go on forever but I am tired and lazy and just wanted to mention to you all how sweet this movie was before I forgot. If you know of any other movies that deserve entry into the Hall of Fame, holla at cha boy.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113317804931269646?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1132665600412109092005-11-22T08:01:00.000-05:002005-11-22T09:00:33.793-05:00Nascar Drivers, Please Split Your Head Open<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/20050320210009990001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/20050320210009990001.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ok...this is a Jerry Seinfeld "what's the deal with..." moment. I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. What's the deal with Nascar drivers doing back flips off the top of their car every time they win a damn race? Every time on I turn on Sportscenter, looking to see the highlights of a real sport, I am instead subjected to five different camera angles of some dude covered in ads for laundry detergent doing acrobatics off a stock car.<br /><br />Wow, so you drove a car around in a circle without blowing a tire or slamming into a wall. Congratulations. You don't see me doing flips off my civic every time I make it home from the grocery store unscathed. You know, whoever did the back flip first must get some props. I'm sure it was really cool at first. But having every driver do the same celebration when they win might just be the lamest thing ever. Imagine for a moment if every time any player in the NFL scored a touchdown, they pulled out a cell phone. I'm pretty sure it would lose its appeal real fast. The back flip has lost its appeal. Nascar drivers, you need to stop. It is only a matter of time before one of you doesn't land your victory flip and you're brains are getting powerwashed off the pavement.<br /><br />Since the average Nascar driver has about three braincells, I understand it may be difficult for you guys to come up with new celebrations. So to make things easier, I've decided to offer you a couple suggestions.<br /><br />1. Start slamming whatever it is that is plastered all over your car and uniform. If you're sponsored by Jack Danials, lets see you pound that for a few minutes....then attempt the back flip. And if you're sponsored by Tide or some Anti-Freeze, even better. If your sponsor is an actual drink, like Pepsi or Mountain do or something, immidietly resort to suggestion #3.<br /><br />2. Secede from the Union. This may take a little longer than doing a back flip, but I think its worth it. The fact that more people in the US watch this shit instead of the NHL makes about as much sense as Charles Barkley's last book. The "chase for the cup" or whatever its called should have its own country. I'm sure it would have a great constitution and bill of rights...or at least a lot of Busch Light.<br /><br />3. Kill yourself. Your sport, and its fans, are completly worthless. Just pull out daddy's twelve gauge and swallow the barrell. I'm tired of seeing you on TV, throwing helmets at each other, bitching about how someone bumped you, or being lumped in the same category as people who play real sports. And most of all, I'm tired of watching a bunch of rednecks doing their best Kerri Strug impression everytime I turn on Sportscenter. So please stop.<br /><br />To all my fans down south...Sorry. Watch hockey.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-113266560041210909?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1128893231635191982005-10-09T18:17:00.000-04:002005-10-09T18:42:29.856-04:00Dear Contestant on "The Biggest Loser,"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/logo.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Dear Contestant on "The Biggest Loser,"<br /><br />Thank you. Thank you for publicly humiliating yourself so that I have something to do for an hour on Tuesday nights. I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to watch you and your fellow heffalumps vie for the chance to be named "The Biggest Loser" by taking part in ridiculous "challenges" while managing to burst in to tears at least 10 times an episode. While it boggles my mind as to how you went from being a college wrestling champion to a 300 pound behemoth, I am glad you did so I can watch the waterworks flow as you remember the days when you could still see your penis and it only took one Grande Meal from Taco Bell to fill you up.<br /><br />It is so hard to pick a favorite contestant amongst you...the police officer who is so fat he can't fit into his bullet proof vest...the doctor who is afraid he is setting a bad example for his patients by being grossly obese and unhealthy...the list goes on. That is why I chose not to address this letter to just one of you, because you all have a special place in my heart.<br /><br />One of the reasons I like you so much is that you are willing to wear T-shirts that say why you want to lose wait. While simply putting "so I'm not fucking fat anymore" would have been sufficient, you went the extra mile by putting hilarious personal reasons that made me laugh until my lungs bled.<br /><br />Here are a few pictures documenting this priceless and completely unnecessary addition to the show. As you can see, the slogans each say something that is meant to bring a tear to the eye, but isteand just makes me laugh even harder.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/050912_biggestloser_vlg_12p.ss_v.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/050912_biggestloser_vlg_12p.ss_v.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">"To see my son grow up" Ahh..this guy is obviously afraid his compulsive overeating will kill him before he has the chance to see little Jimmy pop his first pimple. Heartbreaking.<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode2_p2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode2_p2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>"To inspire my patients" What? Your patients don't want to accept health advice from someone whose breathing can be heard from a block away?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode1_p40.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode1_p40.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>"To find Mr. Right." Now this is the only one that didn't make me laugh. In fact, I was offended. I can't believe this hoss thinks she can't find Mr. Right just because she looks like Denver the last Dinosaur. Guys aren't just into girls for their looks honey, we mostly care about personality. Its what's on the inside that counts. Unfortunately for you, your inside is completely full of twinkies.<br /><br /><br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode1_p38.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode1_p38.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"To be a hot bride." Wow. I can't believe someone is even willing to marry this hideous beast. Besides, I thought Orcs and Urukai were bred from spawning pits in the heart of Mordor and not by actually getting married and having sex. Gross.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode4_p24.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode4_p24.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Another thing I want to thank you for, "Biggest Loser" contestant, is the fact that you are willing to participate in "challenges" and take part in "eliminations" that are designed specifically to make you look bad. I believe it was "Survivor" that starting the trend of reality stars voting each other off the show. But back then it was simple. You put your vote on a piece of paper, and the guy who leaves gets their candle snuffed out as a symbol of their departure. But on "The Biggest Loser," they use this formula but replace paper with one of those things that food comes in, and replace candle with a huge refrigerator filled with food with your name on it. Yes that's right, when a contestant gets voted off "The Biggest Loser" the light in their refrigerator goes out. Seriously, not even I could make this up.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode1_p8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode1_p8.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Another thing I want to thank you for, is the binging scene in the first episode. While you knew you were about to embark on a diet and workout regime, when tempted with one last chance at junk food, you didn't hesitate for one second before gorging yourself. You conquered that buffet like you were Alexander the Great, making sure to lick the fondue so as not to miss a single precious gram of saturated fat.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode4_p151.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode4_p151.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>While their are many degrading events you partake in that make the ones on "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" look like the Olympics, my personal favorite would be the one from episode four. You were forced to get into a bathing suit, and then jump into a pool and retrieve golden bars from the bottom. The catch? You had to get as many gold bars as added up to your weight. Get it? Its like "being worth your weight in gold." The producers on this show most certainly deserve an Emmy.<br /><br />Also, I really appreciate the fact that you are willing to take your shirts off before every weigh-in as well as always making sur<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/episode2_p20.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/episode2_p20.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>e to wear the least amount of clothing possible. While I don't think the addition of a T-shirt would really affect your weight on the scale by that much, you won't hear of it and insist on showing on your man breasts every time. And, as an added bonus, you even bust out in killer dance moves after you hear the good news that you now weigh as much as an elephant instead of as much as a wooly mammoth. Of course, when you dance your disgusting fat skin ripples like its about to travel through time, providing me with much enjoyment.<br /><br />Contestant on "The Biggest Loser," thank you for letting me share this journey of public humiliation with you. I sincerely hope you lose weight and become healthy again, as long as you promise to vomit and let the tears flow as much as possible.<br /><br />Love,<br />Benson<br /><br />P.S. Special thanks to the dude who trains the girls on the show. Your ugly tattoos, lack of maturity, and blatent homosexuality add a dimension of humor to the show that I cannot even put into words.<br /><br /><br />P.S.S. I know I said I wasn't going to play favorites, but I can't help it. Matt, you are an inspiration. It was you who wrestled in college, only to graduate and trade in your workouts for trips to the Pizza Hut lunch buffet. However, even though you used to be an athlete, your ginormous man-tits have made you feminine enough break down and cry just as much as the girls on the show. So here, in your honor, a brief photo tribute:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Matt%20Puking.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Matt%20Puking.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/matt%20crying1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/matt%20crying1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/matt%20weighing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/matt%20weighing.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-112889323163519198?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1126580022252643112005-09-12T23:23:00.000-04:002005-09-13T23:50:38.986-04:00Oscar Buzz: Into The BlueAh, September. You can tell this is going to be the best month for movies ever because Nick Cannon is gracing our cinemas twice. Just a couple weeks ago he came out with "Underclassmen," which Roger Ebert hailed as "the best movie since 'Citizen Kane.'" He then added "Nick Cannon is a ghetto Orson Welles, and it is a privledge to watch him wild out on the big screen." To top it off we will also get to see him towards the end of the month in "Roll Bounce."<br /><br />However, this entry is not about the man who brought us such hits as "Gigolo" and "Your Pops Don't Like Me." It is about how after three months of painfully bad movies being our only option, the summer blockbuster season has come to an end. Now, some quality films will at last be at our local movie theaters. After a summer box office filled with the likes of "The Island," "Stealth," "The Dukes of Hazzard," "Bewitched," "The Adventured of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D," and "Herbie: Fully Loaded," I have never been more ready for the artsy and thoughtful films this September has to offer.<br /><br />Thankfully, this month's movies feature some talented actors rather than the Lindsay Lohans, Tom Cruises, Shark Boys, and those goddamn marching penguins that plagued us for the last three months. The one movie that jumps out at me for its Oscar-caliber talent is "Into the Blue."<br /><br />Judging from the talent that worked on this film, without even seeing it I can already tell it will be a frontrunner for Best Picture. In fact, before this movie even began filming the screenplay had already earned quite a buzz around Hollywood. Insiders were calling it "the best screenplay since 'Million Dollar Baby'." It was written by none other than Matt Johnson, who last wrote the criminally underrated Ice Cube masterpiece "Torque." Then, John Stockwell signed on to direct. He is best known as the dude who played Cougar in "Top Gun." He was also credited as playing Robert Renaud in the film "Breast Men." Critics have been comparing him to other successful actor/directors like Clint Eastwood and Mel "The Passion" Gibson. Already, without even having a cast, "Into the Blue" sounded like award winning material.<br /><br />Then the cast fell into place. The lead rolls were filled out by Paul Walker and Jessica Alba. As if that weren't good enough, "Zoolander" breakout out star Tyson Beckford and the dumb guy from "Ocean's Eleven," Scott Caan were both cast in supporting roles.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/paulalba.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/paulalba.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">"Dude.. Bro...I don't know how much longer I can keep up my serious face"</span><br /></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div> However, this was some of the hardest material any of these actors had ever tried to conquer. Paul Walker had to portray a character even more complex than that of Brian O'Connor from "2 Fast 2 Furious." And this time, he didn't have acting guru/model Tyrese there to coach him. Upon reading the script, he was inspired and was quoted as saying "wow brah...thats deep...totally." By doing 3000 crunches a day, walking around shirtless on the beach, and saucing plenty of perfect 10 models, he was finally able to get into character.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/intothebluealba1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/intothebluealba1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Jessica Alba...Meryl Streeps talent but without the looks.</span><br /></div><br />Jessica Alba also had to do some soul searching in order to prepare for her role as a forensic pathologist trying to break the Da Vinci Code...er...I mean to prepare for her role as "Hot Chick in Bikini who makes out with Paul Walker." The role did not come easy to her, and she had to put all her acting muscles to make it work. While she may have played "Hot Chick in Skintight Bodysuit" in "Fantastic Four" and "Hot Chick in Leather Stripper Cowboy Outfit" in "Sin City," none of her roles had ever required her to make out with Paul Walker before. In preperation, Alba kept being hot. This meant lots of tanning and also 3000 crunches a day. By making out with Paul Walker in his trailer after reheasal, she was able to really get into character and give the performance of a lifetime.<br /><br />So now you know about the star power and acting caliber, but what about the plot? Simply amazing. Thought I haven't seen it, it involves treasure and a scantily clad Jessica Alba. Also, some stuff blows up and I'm pretty sure Scott Caan gets killed after parking at a toll booth and being gun downed by a rival mafia family. The other unique quality about "Into the Blue" is that it is shot backwards, "Memento" style, making it truly captivating.<br /><br />"Into the Blue" is the first movie to come along that has a legit shot at beating the Oscar records that "Titanic" holds. It is the movie that will put an end to Hollywood's cold streak, and finally prove that a movie with a great and original script and high caliber acting talent can win out over sheer star power and special effects.While it has strict competition from such other September box office heavyweights like Samuel L. Jackson's "The Man," the Studio is already estimating that "Into The Blue" grosses over $400 Million. I know I'll be in line opening day.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-112658002225264311?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1126135995873652662005-09-07T18:50:00.000-04:002005-09-07T20:26:00.603-04:00Battle Of The "Intervention" Stars<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/invention_thumb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/invention_thumb.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"Intervention."<br /><br />The undisputed best show on television.<br /><br />For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it is documentary show where in each episode, one or two people are profiled. They are followed around for a documentary about whatever addiction they have (or so they think). However, their close family and friends are secretly planning an interventiont. After following them around so you can see their habits, the intervention happens...catching them completely off guard. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. This is powerful and quality reality TV worth watching. Anyway, I lifted some show descriptions from the official website www.aetv.com/intervention so you can get a better idea....<br /><br /><span class="airing-text">-Friends and family gather to save two addicts -- Rachel, once a beautiful child in an upper-middle class family who has turned to heroin and prostitution, and Tommy, who quit his executive job and sold his Lexus, retirement plan, and million-dollar condo to sustain his cocaine habit.<br /><br /></span><span class="airing-text">-Family and friends stage interventions to halt the self-destructive behavior of Cristine and Kelly. Cristine is a wife and mother who drinks at least 18 beers a day. Kelly is an anorexic who weighs 93 pounds and whose 6-year-old daughter is following in her footsteps, often picking at her food or refusing to eat altogether. Her friends are seeking help not just to save Kelly, but her daughter as well.<br /><br /></span><span class="airing-text">-Alyson, a three-time White House intern and an award-winning student, met a boy in college who initiated her into a lifestyle of heavy drug use. She is addicted to morphine and crack and has returned to live with her parents. Alyson now steals painkillers from her dying father and works at alienating her mother and sister.<br /><br /></span><span class="airing-text">-Parents and friends intervene to save Alissa, a compulsive gambler who has lost more than $30,000 on 25-cent slots. Meanwhile her boyfriend juggles three jobs just to make ends meet for them. Then we meet Brian, whose crystal meth habit feeds his sex addiction and sends him trolling the streets for new partners every day.<br /><br />...Interesting stuff huh? If nothing else, it will make you feel better about yourself. I found out about the show after I read online that it would be profiling former Days of The New singer Travis Meeks who, now a meth addict, is broke and lives with his mom. Now, with that background out of the way, on to my million dollar idea...<br /><br />"Battle of the Intervention Stars"<br /><br />After noticing the success of the many "Real World/Road Rules" challenges and the new Bravo show,"Battle Of the Network Reality Stars", I figure millions can be made off doing a similar version with people who have been profiled on "Intervention." It would be the best new show to come along since "Nick Cannon Presents Wild N Out." (side note: the "Wild N Out girls" are really hot... and seeing Nick Cannon and Keenan Thompson "wild out" was one of the greatest moments of my life. Fat Albert a.ka Russ Tyler (the ghetto knucklepuck dude from D2 and 3) and Devon from Drumline together on the same stage. Words cannot describe the glory...) Anyway, back to the topic at hand.<br /><br />"Battle of The Intervention Stars" would be set up in a typical two-team format. To make things even, the teams would each have players with corresponding addictions. Kind of like how on MTV splits its teams so the each have opposing meatsticks, gays, and angry black and latino women. This way, the drama is heightened. Each team would be co-ed and consist of an alcoholic, a meth addict, a gambling addict, a painkiller addict, and a crack/coke addict. Each team will also get one unique player, such as the "cutter" or the video game addict.<br /><br />However, unlike these other "battle" type shows, the drama would not come from contestants being voted off. Instead, it would come from not knowing which players on each team that the intervention actually worked for. Some may be clean, others may not. And of course, the ones who are clean would be facing off against those still in the clutches of addiction. The drama would come from seeing the recovered meth addict try to stay on the wagon while watching their counterpart shoot up after the tug-of-war.<br /><br />The competitions would be typical company picnic fair. There would be the sack race, in which the stumbling drunk and the sleepy vicodin addict would each have a foot in the sack and have to hop in unison to the finish line. This would be made even harder by the taunts and jeers of their fellow addicts as well as those of their parole officers; on hand not to arrest anyone, but just for the hell of it.<br /><br />The bobbing for apples would also be a fun event. However, besides apples there would be some contraband floating in the water. Tommy, who spent $200,000 on coke in under two years would stick his face in the water barrel, and have to pick out the apples with his mouth while holding back from the grabbing the tempting bags of booger sugar floating alongside them.<br /><br />Like "Real World/Road Rules" challenges, the TV viewer would also be drawn in by the potential hooks ups. The crack addict whose front teeth were punched out during the drug-deal-gone bad would most certainly fall for the prostitue selling herself her next hit of meth.<br /><br />The possibilities for this show are endless.<br /><br />Another added bonus is that the show would be hosted by former coke addict Jean-Claude Van Damn and sex addict/personal trainer Danny Bonnoduce. Although Jean-Claude won't be aloud near the bobbing for apples event and Breaking Bonnoduce won't be aloud near the prostitue.<br /><br />(sidenote: drug addiction is a serious problem. I don't condone it or think it is funny. "Intervention" is an education and serious show that should be praised for shining the light on such a controverisal topic.)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-112613599587365266?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1125649132765726042005-09-02T03:07:00.000-04:002005-09-04T01:20:31.856-04:00Glassjaw NYCThe Show: The Used / Glassjaw / H20 / 30 Seconds to Mars / Alexisonfire / Broke<br /><br />The Place: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City<br /><br />The Players: Me, The Elder and Roomate<br /><br />The Moves: Pick Up Change, Kung-Fu Kick, Pizza Thrower, Windmill, Lawnmower<br /><br />I hopped on the train, switching at Seacacus to head towards Penn Station. On the train, I noticed a skinny dude with a Kelly Osbourne lookalike girlfriend on his arm and a Walls Of Jericho hat. I also saw some guy who looked like Sloth from "Goonies" who also had a hoss on his harm, and was wearing a Story of the Year shirt. There was no question these young adults were headed towards the same destination as me. I decided to ignore the elders directions, and just follow the ugly men and their beastly women, assuming they were going to the show.<br /><br />I arrived around 4:45 to wait in the line. As I sat waiting on the sidewalk, between the Hammerstein and the West Side Jewish Center I felt totally at peace. However, by 5:15 I began to get irritable. The other players had not yet arrived, as they are fully grown adults and were still in the process of getting out of their day jobs. So there I was alone, stuck listening to the conversations of a bunch of 12 year old Indian kids behind me, and some rather large "females" in front of me...One was wearing a t-shirt that said "Mrs. Bert McCracken." However, I expected nothing less from a crowd going to see The Used, and I gathered the strength to put up with them from the bearded Hasidic Jews walking in and out of the Center.<br /><br />Finally, I met up with my small posse and the line began to move. We were quick to get in, and moved right along to the front ready to tear it up for everyone's favorite canucks, Alexisonfire. Instead, some band called Broke hit the stage. God was obviously punishing me for the time I pissed in the trash can at that sea food buffet, because sitting through the five songs these glorified roadies played was as fun as taking a plunger in the ass. This band is going nowhere, and I hope they enjoy their future pumping gas and flipping burgers.<br /><br />Luckily Alexisonfire hit the stage soon after, putting on a great show. These guys truly have an original sound, and it translated well live. The singer, in the elder's words, looked like "an emo-Eli Manning" and they did their best to get the crowd involved. However, all of the Orcs with Used shirts on and red streaks in their hair took up whole front and just stared blankly at the stage. Some dancing finally erupted when they burst into "44. Caliber Love Letter" off their first album. This being their PSU theme song, my white collar brethren flew into the pit. I decided to hold off, until I heard "Accidents." The guitarist began to introduce that song when they were abruptly cut off, and forced to leave the stage, leaving a terrible void in all of us.<br /><br />30 Seconds to Mars came on after what seemed like an eternity. I have nothing against these guys; their music is ok. However, the Elder's hatred for Leto knew no bounds as between every song he would whisper some smart-ass comment in my ear about Leto's lame frontman skills. However I'm pretty sure it was because he was jealous of the fact that Leto has wrecked every area in Hollywood. Hey, the guy gets the shit beat out of him in "Fight Club," murdered with an axe in "American Psycho," and gets stuffed by Collin Farrell's sausage in "Alexander," I say let the guy play frontman if he wants to.<br /><br />I was getting pumped for Glassjaw when I realized H20 was up next. These guys blow harder than Moby Dick. The elder had forced me to listen to many an H20 record when he would drive us to high school, so I was quite familiar with their brand of two-minute long shitty pop punk songs. Their singer seemed to have a chip on his shoulder, because he spent half of the bands time on stage talking shit and making fun of the crowd. He kept telling girls to stop wearing make-up and buying CBGB's T-shirts from Hot Topic, and babbled on for what seemed like forever about "the scene" and "true hardcore" the "bullshit music industry" and "never selling out." While the elder was impressed and awed by this because he had a hard on for all things "hardcore scene" back in the day, I wasn't fooled. This prick has the nerve to talk about selling out and to make fun of the mall punk kids there to see The Used? To act like he is some legend who cares only about the music?<br /><br />Wait, wasn't this the guy who after losing his record deal joined up with fat Madden and Duff banging Madden and Nightmare Before Christmas Leg guy from New Found Glory to form a pop group called Hazen Street? Yeah dude, touring with Good Charlotte is real hardcore. Too bad that didn't work out for you. You chased that money and that teenage pussy and failed miserably, so now you're bitter. You're also like 40 and covered in gay four leaf clover tatoos. Fuck Toby from H20 and his god-awful bad. And I don't even want to talk about him bringing out the trolls from Madball to sing and play on their last song...It was a true nightmare.<br /><br />Thank God for Glassjaw. Just as background, I was obsessed with these guys for awhile. They are my all time favorite band. I've seen them before, but not for a couple years since they took their hiatus. In fact, I hadn't listened to their records in awhile. As soon as they took the stage, the place erupted. Girls in The Used tee shirts ran for their lives as the one of the biggest pits I've ever seen formed throughout the whole back of the floor. The front was crammed with kids jumping for the mic and tossing mallcore kids aside.<br /><br />I cannot put into words how much Glassjaw killed. Now a four-piece, the band played all of its songs to perfection. Their slower songs went over just as well as the faster ones, and the heaviness in all of them really came through. The elder and I stalked the pit, joining the other Glassjaw die-hards in some of the most fun I have ever had at a show. The dancing was insane. I'm pretty sure I pulled every single muscle in my back picking up change to "Siberian Kiss." Every one of us in the pit knew every word to each song, and the camaraderie made it so we could all go ape shit without worry. The Elder also had a life changing moment, as he glowed afterwords about his "high kick with a five foot running start."<br /><br />Glassjaw played old favorites like "Pretty Lush" and "Star Above my Bed." Most of the material was off the "Worship and Tribute" album, but they did play one new song called "Natural Born Farmer." This show reminded me of why Glassjaw is the greatest band out there, and I'm convinced they will never be far from my playlist again.<br /><br />The Used were on next. They were good but I'm not sure because I couldn't hear over the high pitched screams of the adolescent girls. Seriously, every time Bert opened his mouth it sounded like we were at a "Barney on Ice" show or something. Glassjaw is an impossible act to follow anyway, and I couldn't get my mind off their performance.<br /><br />In conclusion, Glassjaw is a great, under appreciated band whose music only gets better with time. H20 and broke are two of the worst bands I have ever seen. My brother hates Jared Leto but loves Rob Lowe. I bet if Rob Lowe and his fellow "West Wing" castmates started up a band, he would praise Lowe's frontman skills and even buy the record instead of downloading it.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-112564913276572604?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1124177533070073782005-08-29T08:34:00.000-04:002005-08-29T20:59:08.866-04:00Remembering The Old School WWFIt was a simpler time. A time of peace and prosperity. All was right in the world. It was a time when the WWF reigned as the greatest event in sports or televison. This era of wrestling is known as the golden age, from the late-80's to the early 90's. It was a time when they didn't come out and say it was fake, and we were young enough to thing it was real. It was real enough for us to re-enact the moves we saw on TV on our siblings, risking spinal injuries and even death. Or, if we were lucky enough to own our very own "WWF Wrestling Buddy," we could try doing tombstones and leglocks on them instead.<br />I don't have too much to say, but after recently talking about and remembering some of the old stars of the WWF that were sweet when we were all just shorties growing up on the block, I decided to offer a look back for any of you who may have been lucky enough to experience the glory days of the WWF.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fat Wrestlers.</span><br />These guys were huge. Fucking obese, heart-attack, high cholesteral, buffet dominating monstroseties. Not a single ounce of muscle on them. I haven't watched wresteling since 8th grade, but I'm pretty sure all wrestlers theses days are in shape. That is sad, because kids today may never experience the glory that was the fat wrestler.Here were some of the best whales ever to grace the ring.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> ... </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Ear</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">thqua</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/johntenta-earthquake31.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/johntenta-earthquake31.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">ke</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">and Tugboat / Typhoon</span><br />Earthquake was a personal favorite of mine. Basically, he was a huge dude with a beard that sat on people and crushed them with his cellulite. Seriously, sitting on people was his special move. That was it. It was called "The Earthquake Squash" and is in my opinion, the best wrestling move ever created. How he mastered it I will never know.<br /><div style="text-align: left;">He was later in a tag team called the Natural Disasters with another favorite of mine, Typhoon, who was first known as Tugboat. Tugboat was never quite as cool because he was fat but didn't sit on anyone, rendering him useless. That is why he became Typhoon, who ended up still being pretty worthless.<br />I'm sure being called names like the Natural Disasters, Earthquake, Tugboat, and Typhoon really worked well for these guys' self esteem. Considering they were superstars of the WWF, I can only imagine the debauchery that took place when these guys threw down after a show.......Piles of coke, twinkies, sloppy joes, booze, naked sluts...I can only imagine how glorious it must have been to be a Natural Disaster.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Natural_Disasters_011.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Natural_Disasters_011.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/tenta2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/tenta2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/tugboat.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/tugboat.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />TUGBOAT!!!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Y</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/yokozuna1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/yokozuna1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">okozuna, Bam Bam</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Bigalow and Va</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">der.<br /></span>These are the two other lards of wrestling worth mentioning. At the time, we were all amazed by Yokozuna becuse his whole image was that he was a real sumo wrestler. The announcers told us that that meant even though he was fat, he was actually athletic too. Althou<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/bam%20bam2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/bam%20bam2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>h now I know that Sumo training consists of pounding rice and slamming Saki, at the time I had respect for it. Plus, he was one of the first of the elephent wrestlers to actually jump off the ropes and shit. Pretty amazing to watch. God Bless Yokozuna. Bam Bam Bigalow was one mean motherfucker. He had tattoos on his head for God's sake. So that was pretty much his deal, was fat and covered in tats. He later would go on the Trimspa diet, <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/leonwhite-vader2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/leonwhite-vader2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>lose hundreds of pounds, become a roadie for Rancid, then go on to front Tim Armstrong and Travis Barker's band The Transplants.<br />One other guy I can't forget to mention is Leon White, known to the world as Vader. Years of alcohal abuse and heavy metal has ruined my memory, so all I can really remember about Vader is that he was insanely chunky and used to scream "It's Vader Time" a lot. Brutal.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tag Teams.</span><br />These amazing combonations of wrestlers taught us the meaning of teamwork. Instead of just matching up two big stars, the Tag Teams of the Golden Age were often wrestlers that wouldn't be anything if not together.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/doom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/doom.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/bushwakers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/bushwakers.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My two favorites, along with everyone elses were <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Legion of Doom</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Buswackers. </span>The Legion of Doom wore facepaint and shoulder pads with plastic spikes. I'm not sure what made that so cool, but somehow it was. You couldn't go out trick or treating in my hood without seeing many a Legion of Doom costume. The Bushwackers were these redneck dudes who did this really stupid walk and rocked camo pants and army boots. They also always had really confused looks on their faces, and they may have been retarded. Again, at the time, and because of old we were, they seemed really cool. Tag Teams really got away with a lot of corny stuff back then, and I'm glad to have been a part of it.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Other Wrestlers</span><br />The guys who weren't hideously obese or part of a Tag Team all had awesome gimmicks, cheesy names, were really ugly, and wore speedos. I really don't have a lot to say about these guys, however these were some of the wrestlers that highlighteded my childhood. So lets take a walk down memory lane....<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/british%20bulldog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/british%20bulldog.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">British Bulldog</span>. He somehow seemed like such a hardass...although looking back<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/rick%20martel1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/rick%20martel1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> those braids do make him seem like kind of a fairy.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Model Rick M</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">artel.</span>Such a ladies man, and of course, hated with a passion by me and everyone I knew. He was always talking about getting it on with chicks, which at the time we all thought was complete gross. I'd be willing to be this guys got more baby-mama-drama than all of the G-Unit. His bastard children must be spread out all over the country, and are probably in college by now, costing him a fortune.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/411.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/411.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Narcissist Lex Lugor</span>. The biggest punk ass ever...and I still to this day don't know what "Narcissist" <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/jakeroberts1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/jakeroberts1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>means.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/million%20dollar%20man2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/million%20dollar%20man2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jake the Snake Roberts</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.</span> Two of the best wrestling names ever, and my two favorite action figures as well. I remember one of the most dramatic moments of my life was when Jake's snake came out from under the ring and bit someone. Then they banned the snake, effectively ending poor Jake's career. I think. My memory is a little fuzzy on that one.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/ravisihing%20rick%20rude1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/ravisihing%20rick%20rude1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/hacksawsgtslaughter3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/hacksawsgtslaughter3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ravishing Rick Rude</span>. Even then I knew he was a Tom Sellick wannabe. Now on the other hand, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sgt. Slaughter</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hacksaw Jim Duggan</span> were the shit. Hacksaw hit people with 2 x 4's, which was insane because I thought it as real. Sgt. Slaughter was also a GI Joe, making him twice as cool.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ahmed Johnson</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Papa Shango</span> were also great wrestlers. Ahmed Johnson was the first <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/papa2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/papa2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Black Inercont<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/ahmed%20johnson1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/ahmed%20johnson1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>inental Champion, making him like the Jackie Robinson of the WWF. Looking back, the WWF was a pretty racist Orginization. Poor Papa Shanago, who played a stereotypican African Voodoo Witchdoctor, and later played the Godfather, where he acted like a pimp and did a special move called "The Ho Train." Ahmend Johnson never gave in to the WWF's stereotyping and dominated on his name and talent alone.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/uw.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/uw.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/bret1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/bret1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You didn't think I'd forget about <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ultimate Warrior</span> or the great <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bret Hart</span> did you?<br />These were two of the most popular wrestlers ever. I'm not sure what I can say about these guys. They were the cream of the crop. Bret Hart used to have some crazy leg lock that my brother would always try to do on me. It had some sweet name but I can't remember it. Plus, it wasn't just him, there was a bunch of Harts who together made up the Hart Foundation. Ultimate Warrior did tons of roids, and many rumors are out there about to what happen to him. I think his heart exploded from being on the juice, which is what happened to another great from the time, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mr. Perfect.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Not only were the wrestlers cool back then, but their managers were cool as well. They were old men who always yelled from the side of the stage and helped their wrestlers cheat. They always got theri asses knocked out too. Two of the best managers of all time had to be Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji. Mad props to these two for being able to have a huge career in wrestling without having any athletic ability whatsoever.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/paul%20bearer.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/paul%20bearer.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/mr%20fuji.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/mr%20fuji.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Also, we must not forget the guys who used to enter the ring against these big named stars dressed only in orange speedos. They went by avergage names and just entered the ring, took an ass whooping, and were never heard from again. It was like they just got pulled out of the audience and their whole purpose was just so the WWF superstars could show off their moves and look cool while publicly humiliating these poor dudes.Those guys were awesome. I wonder how much they got paid.<br /><br />So thats it...I could probably think of more, but I'll leave that to you...if you remember any badass wrestlers or their kickass moves or are feeling nostalgic about the era of WWF that we lucky enough to have grown with..holler below.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11430873-112417753307007378?l=undoingruin.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Bensonnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11430873.post-1124149682467648392005-08-15T23:25:00.000-04:002005-08-16T15:19:25.950-04:00Warped Tour 2005: Attack of the Five Foot Scenesters<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/c2d3b763-s.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/c2d3b763-s.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Sorry, devoted reader(s), for my lack of updates. My internet as of late is working for me about as well Courtney Love's last stay in rehab. This is a special column, as it features guest commentary by Dave Ta Life, my elder and the first Benson to enter the world of online "journalism." For years, he wrote CD and concert reviews for www.blistering.com, where he would drop pearls of wisdom such as:<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal"> "Darkest Hour is no where near as talented as In Flames"<br />"In Flames was awesome, and needs to be seen by all"<br />"In Flames sound guy did an incredible job"<br />"Earth Crisis was great, but it was just impossible for me to enjoy them fully after watching In Flames"<br /><br />and of course, when commenting on why he skipped out on Queens of the Stone Age at Ozzfest 2000:<br />"If the band picked a name like Queens of the Stone Age, they obviously can't be any good"<br /><br />So feel lucky, that in addition to my ranting, you will also be subjected to the views of DTL...who after spending his entire teens wishing he was named Bjorn, living in Gothenburg, Sweden, drinking ale with Jesper of In Flames, is now working a white collar job in NYC. However, his hardcore roots remain, and he tied the bandanna around his face one more time to go to this years Warped Tour with me. He also volunteered to make this entry twice as long. Here are our accounts of the bands we saw this Saturday, August 12, at Randall's <st1:place st="on">Island</st1:place>.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Intro: </span><br />After taking the subway in from Hoboken, and then hopping on another we ended up in Harlem where upon seeing fat chicks with red streaks in their hair and The Used shirts on, we knew we were in the right place. Buses loaded with hardcore kids and emo kids filled the streets, as the confused old men of harlem looked on wondering if this was indeed, the apocolypse. The line to get in was a mile long, but luckily our bus driver let us off at the front of the line, letting us skip it. It was a sign of the good day to come.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">12:20: Reggie and the Full Effect</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Good performance by some chunky ass dudes. Their set had everything from brutal breakdowns, to catchy pop hooks, and lead singer James Dewees was even nice enough to tell us about his young love slave, an Asian boy he covers in chocolate syrup. Seriously, his words, not mine.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>A band with great music and a fun attitude, this was the perfect band to kick off our day.<span style=""> </span>With lyrical subjects ranging from the Loch Ness Monster to Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, these guys couldn't miss.<span style=""> </span>Hit single "Get Well Soon" was a definite highlight.<br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>I remember the beginning of the summer and my brother telling me "Reggie sucks, that song 'Get Well Soon' is horrible."<span style=""> </span>Ah how quickly times change.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <span style=""> </span> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">12:50: Thrice</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/thrice1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/thrice1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Thrice fucking rules. I hadn’t listened to the “The Artist in the Ambulance” in quite sometime and had forgotten how great these guys were. They attracted a huge crowd, and got a strong reaction from the new material they played.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>Easily one of the best sets of the day.<span style=""> </span>Thrice flawlessly blended old songs with new, yet-to-be released tracks.<span style=""> </span>I was happy because they played my personal favorite "Stare at the Sun.<span style="">" </span>Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>The 14 year old girls got stuck in pedestrian traffic trying to make their way over from Mest's set, so we didn't have to knock any little girls around to enjoy this one.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">1:30: Avenged Sevenfold</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Everyone’s favorite Goth power rangers brought their A-game. The crowd went crazy, and I had a clear view thanks to everyone in front of me being 14-year-old Goth girls. They clearly would later have their first sexual experience, touching themselves while thinking of these mascara covered Motley Crue impersonators. But seriously, these guys slay.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span> In the weeks leading up to Warped, I told my brother that "Under no circumstance would I watch Avenged Sevenfold."<span style=""> </span>Let's just say I side with Atreyu in the Orange Country metalcore feud.<span style=""> </span>Against my better judgment though, I stuck around for the set….and I'm glad I did.<span style=""> </span>Though I still can't get into their records, one thing can't be denied:<span style=""> </span>this band puts on an incredible live show.<span style=""> </span>There was enough make-up and stage presence in this band to resurrect Motley Crue.<span style=""> </span>Good times.<br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>My trip into Bat Country went better then expected; it wasn't a waste of time and the band turned in one of the best sets of the day.<span style=""> </span>Avenged Sevenfold's singer was wearing a vintage Reign In Blood t-shirt, so that was cool too (though I wish he wouldn't scream "yeeeeah" so much)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">2:30: Darkest Hour</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Kris.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Kris.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <div style="text-align: center;"> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Darkest Hour shreds away</span><br /></div> </div> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Darkest Hour, as expected, put on an amazing show. We were all in awe of guitarist Kirs Norris, not only for his domination of his instrument, but for his "I am the Anti-Christ" upside down cross tattoo.I suggest all aspiring guitarists go to www.Krisnorris.com and purchase his instructional DVD. Darkest Hour, after all the hype Victory records put out about “eating Slayer for breakfast,” truly does live up to it. In fact, although the elder may disagree, I believe they rip much harder than In Flames.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>I'm kind of biased on this one seeing as how if I had to vote today for 2005 Album of the Year I would vote for Undoing Ruin.<span style=""> </span>Darkest Hour put on an amazing set.<span style=""> </span>They sounded great, and they played "Sound The Surrender."<span style=""> </span>If this was the only band I saw all day, I still would have left happy.<br />Darkest Hour has come a long way over the years.<span style=""> </span>While "Undoing Ruin" is their finest effort to date, they still haven't climbed the pedastal and reached In Flames Status.<span style=""> </span><br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>Darkest Hour provided me with the 1st of two opportunities during the day to raise my fingers to the sky and play air guitar. Thanks guys.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">2:50: The Transplants</p> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>These guys played at the same time, but we were lucky enough to hear their “hit” single, “gangsters and thugs” being played when Darkest Hour finished. The Transplants are officially the worst band in the world. <div style="text-align: left;"> </div>Their "singer" is not only fat, ugly, and talentless, but he is a former roadie who obviously won one hell of a bet to get this gig. People only watch them to get a glimpse of two other punk “legends” in the band, Travis Barker and the dude from Rancid, who as far as I’m concerned smoke more pole than the cast of “Blow Out.” I can only hope they get in an accident and their singer gets the old Cliff Burton “crushed to death by rolling bus” treatment.<br /><p style="text-align: left;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span> I agree with everything the younger Benson said.<br /></p> <div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/trasnaplnt%20dude.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/trasnaplnt%20dude.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-style: italic;">This guy needs to be shot</span></div> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">3:00: Funeral for a Friend</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Uh, these guys are from the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Other than their singer's annoying accent, they didn’t stand out much. Still, a decent performance. Between these guys and Bullet for my Valentine, the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">UK</st1:place></st1:country-region> is really starting to pump out decent bands with really shitty names.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>This was the tricky part of the day as there were a bunch of bands starting sets in the 3:00 hour that I wanted to say.<span style=""> </span>As such, I only stayed for 3 songs from FFAF before moving on.<span style=""> </span>I liked what I heard, but the band was having obvious trouble getting the crowd involved.<br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>None.<span style=""> </span>Leaving this set early was one of the more negative aspects of my day.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:20 Bleeding Through</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/MARTA.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/MARTA.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic;">Ahhh...</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson: </span>While my brother checked out Hopesfall, I watched everyone’s favorite <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Orange</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">County</st1:placetype></st1:place> tough guys, Bleeding Through. I mostly just stared at the metal goddess who plays the keyboards. I think her and I have a real future together. Sadly, as a metal fan of many years, I realize that girls like this don’t actually exist and she may have been a figment of my imagination. The more I think about it, I don’t see what band couldn’t benefit from having a fine ass number working the keys during their set. Note: If you are in a band, ask a hot bitch to play keyboards for you. It requires no talent or musical ability.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3:20 Hopesfall</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>Their old songs were great, their new songs were boring.<br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>Getting to see a band I've wanted to see for a long time was great.<span style=""> </span>Thanks Warped.</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">3:40: Circa Survive</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I was almost knocked over by a slew of tweeny boppers, I just chalked it up to my rugged, Russell Crow-like good looks and my fame and notoriety brought upon by this very website. Turns out, they were just trying to touch the shoe of Circa Survive’s lead singer, who must lay more pipe both Mario Brothers combined. He's like the Nick Cannon of emo. This guy leans into the crowd and bitches start screaming like they are at a 98 Degrees concert or something.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>This damn 3:00 hour.<span style=""> </span>Too many bands to see.<span style=""> </span>As Hopesfull finished up I hurried over to the Ernie Ball Stage to catch what I could of Circa Survive.<span style=""> </span>One word can sum these guys up:<span style=""> </span>amazing. One of the top 5 sets of the day.<span style=""> </span>Lead singers voice sounded perfect, and the band writes some great songs.<br />Added bonus:<span style=""> </span>There was none.<span style=""> </span>I had to leave this set early in order to make it to Senses Fail.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">3:50: Senses Fail</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>These guys came out to “Steven,” an old favorite. Their lead singer did his best Geoff Rickely mic-twirling impression, and the crowd ate these guys up. However, after having about three hundred pre-pubescent emo chicks fall on my head during their set, I decided it was time to hit up Boys Night Out at the smart punk stage.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>I know it's a reoccurring theme to say "this band was a highlight of the day," but really, they almost all were.<span style=""> </span>Senses Fail was great.<span style=""> </span>Playing songs off of their EP and debut full length, leaving this set early was one of the hardest things I did all day.<br />Added bonus: This set provided lots of great sing-along opportunities.<span style=""> </span>Goodbye Steven…<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">4:10: Boys Night Out</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Ah yes, the smart punk stage. Or, as I call it, emo-girl Kryptonite. That’s right folks, no 13 year old chicks with Fall Out Boy shirts here. Besides the fact that they would have been eaten alive during Darkest Hour’s set, the bands here really don’t offer much to the casual music listener. Most of the bands on this stage really bring something to the table and Boys Night Out was no different. They played a good mix of material off their 3 releases. Like Bleeding Through, they also had some broad playing keyboards. But she wasn't a metal goddess, and her sole purpose seemed to be inciting clap-alongs. However anyone who has heard "I Got Punched In the Nose For Sticking My Face In Other People's Business" knows exectly when to start the clapping. Best single live song of the day.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson:</span>The reason I left the Senses Fail set a few songs early was because I did not want to miss any of Boys Night Out.<span style=""> </span>Unfortunately I failed in this mission as I did miss 1 or 2 songs, but oh well.<span style=""> </span>What I did see was great, and this was one set I could not leave early.<br />Added Bonus:<span style=""> </span>The clap alongs!<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">4:30: Dropkick Murphy’s</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Benson:</span>Not really a fan of these guys, but I have to hand it to them. They have some die-fans and still put on a great show after all these years.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Elder Benson: </span>Anyone who has seen this band before knows how ridiculous they are live, so I won't get into that (for those of you who haven't, they're one of the best).<span style=""> </span>Whenever I see this band though, I come away with one question.<span style=""> </span>Where do the flags and banners come from?<span style=""> </span>As soon as the Murphy's come on stage, Irish Flags, Boston Red Sox banners, and an assortment of other flags and posters rise from the ashes of the pit.<span style=""> </span>Where the hell are kids hiding these things all day?<span style=""> </span>Its like they just come out of the ground like the machines in War of the Worlds.<span style=""> </span>I'd say this is one of the great unsolved mysteries of punk rock.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/1600/Dropkick%20Murphy%27s.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4243/927/320/Dropkick%20Murphy%27s.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Added Bonus:<span style=""> </span>The Dropkick Murphy's sparked the biggest du