Undoing Ruin

"Doing it for Hans"

Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Best and Worst of 2005

Well, it's 2006. A new year, a new lil' Wayne album, and a fresh start. But before we all start listening to Tha Carter 2 and moving on with our lives, let us take a long look back at the best and worst of what 2005 had to offer. Back by popular demand (from himself) is the elder, who will be adding his own brand of white collar flavor to the mix.

TV


Best Sitcom

Benson: Home Improvement reruns. Mostly for Al Borland's Confucious-like wisdom and Jonathon Taylor Thomas' dreamy looks.

Elder Benson: Freddie. It’s a can’t miss formula: Freddie Prinze Jr. makes a joke, while Brian Austin Green stands out of camera-focus in the background. Green then either comes to the forefront with a comedic gem, or the producers just dress him up in drag or another costume for kicks.Yes, I watch a show that starts Freddie Prinze Jr. and Brian Austin Green. And yes, I think it’s damn funny.

Best Hour Long Drama

Benson: House. I've caught it a few times and it held my attention. Plus, it stars Omar Epps, who starred with Samuel L. Jackson in Juice back in the day, as well as The Program, which was hilarious, especially the part where that meatstick goes on a roid rage and throws some broad into a wall.

Elder Benson: Lost. Great storylines, amazing writing, ominous cliffhangers, hot female leads, and it’s all set on an island with monsters, polar bears, and OTHERS. What’s not to love?

Best Reality Show:

Benson: Breaking Bonaduce. This show owned my life. I watched it, and re-watched it nonstop. Favorite moment- when he rides a skateboard shirtless through traffic to a liquor store, then slams vodka and cranberry juice on the sidewalk with deftones playing in the background. Or the time he takes steroids. Or the time he puts on his dog's electric collar and his son starts zapping him. Dammit I could go on forever. I have many honorable mentions, as all I watch is reality TV. A & E pretty much owns in that department, with the Trifecta of Intervention, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and Criss Angel: Mindfreak. VH1 has also put forth many quality reality shows, such as Celebrity Fit Club and The Surreal Life. And of course if you read this blog then you already know how I feel about The Biggest Loser.

Elder Benson: The Contender. I might have been the only person in the country who watched this while it was on. Damn shame cuz it was so good. A juiced-up Sly trains real-life boxers. Who knew that playing a boxer in movies qualified you to do that? Apparently there is a pilot floating around the networks in which Sly trains New York City police officers on how to best defend the Lincoln Tunnel. Apparently his work on the movie Daylight has made him an expert.

Worst Show

Benson: Lost. This show is fucking lame. Mark my words, while it may be popular now, lets not forget so was the Macarena at one point. 5 years from now, people will look back on Lost the same way.

Elder Benson: Score hosted by Ryan Cabrera. Ryan Cabrera has been public enemy #1 in this blog many times, so it shouldn’t come as that big of a shock that I thought his show sucked even more then his music. Basically, Ryan “get me another New Castle” Cabrera hosts a game-show where he helps kids write songs. They then play the songs for someone of the opposite sex, in hopes that their song will win them a date. Each show ends with him “playing the show out.” Great! Every time you watch you get a live performance from the half-retarded wannabe son that Joe Simpson never had! I don’t even know if this show is still on-air, but I imagine Ryan ran out of songs to “play you guys out with.” Either that or the producers didn’t provide him with enough hair products so he could make himself look less of a midget.

Film

Best Movie

Benson: Batman Begins. This was pretty much a wet dream, from start to finish.

Elder Benson: Crash. Not much needs to be said here. This movie was amazing. If you haven’t seen it, go rent it. You’ll surely be hearing a lot about it come Oscar time.

Worst Movie

Benson: It's a tie for "Oscar favorites" Brokeback Mountain and Memoirs of a Geisha, neither of which I have any desire to see. But from the trailers I saw, I got the two most god awful lines in movie history stuck in my head. If I hear "A true geisha can stop a man in his tracks with a single look" again I'll stick a samurai sword down my throat. And don't even get me started on that ape Jake Gyllenwhatever yelling "Why can't I quit you" in the worst southern accent ever attempted by an actor in the Brokeback Mountain preview.

Elder Benson: Herbie: Fully Loaded. No, I didn’t see this movie. But it was clear from the trailers on TV that this was the worst movie of 2005. I don’t care how hot Lindsay Lohan is, you still can’t pay me to see a movie that features her, a computer generated talking car, Michael “Multiplicity” Keaton, and the guy from Garfield! I can only hope that whoever gave this movie the green-light is no longer employed in Hollywood. Side note: Lohan, please stop making music. You are horrible.

Best Actor

Benson: The almighty Dennis Quaid. Over Christmas I caught three Quaid flops on HBO at my parents house. Flight of the Pheonix, Cold Creek Manor, and In Good Company. Quaid also ended the year strongly with another flop, Yours, Mine and Ours. Only Quaid has the balls to rip off Cheaper By the Dozen. But Quaid was the tits in Dragonheart. Bottem line: Quaid rules, and I will watch him in anything, even if it is just him bossing around Tyrese in the desert or punching the kid from the 70's show in the grill.
Sidenote: Cold Creek Manor pitts Quaid against another favortie actor of mine, Stephen Dorff. Dorff is best known as the boyfriend in Britney Spears' "Everytime" video and from the failed thriller FearDotCom - which I proudly can say I saw in theaters.

Elder Benson: Jack Black. Young Benson thinks the best actor of ’05 is Randy Quaid’s younger brother Dennis. I must disagree. Think about what Quaid did this year: Yours, Mine and Ours, Flight of the Phoenix, In Good Company, The Day After Tomorrow, The Alamo, Cold Creek Manor...how can we even be talking about Quaid for best actor? He deserves Man of The Year! It takes a special person, with a special talent for picking movies to make those duds. I really don’t have much to say about Jack Black except this: It wasn’t the planes…it was beauty that killed the beast.


Worst Actor

Benson: Ludacris. Or as he was billed in the overrated Crash, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges. Somehow I just didn't find the CEO of Disturbing Tha Peace records too convincing in a serious role. I'm not sure how rapping about fried chicken and beer and being a multi-millionaira qualifies you to play a car theif. The best performance from "Crash" was from Tony Danza.

Elder Benson: Hayden Christiansen.

Dear Hayden,
You cannot act. My brother would have played a better Anakin Skywalker.
Best regards,
Elder Benson

Music

Best Metal Album

Benson: A Life Once Lost - Hunter. This album melts face. Pure Brutality. In a year in which I began listening to softer and weaker music, this album made me realize why I loved metal so much in the first place. Darkest Hour's Undoing Ruin has to take the runner up spot, though it easily could have been my top pick as well. Honorable mentions go to Trivium's Ascendancy, God Forbid's IV: Constitution of Treason, Chimaira's Chimaira, and DevilDriver's The Fury of Our Makers Hand.

Elder Benson: Darkest Hour - Undoing Ruin. This is more of a Young Benson category as my black-t-shirt metal days are pretty much behind me (I say pretty much and not completely because I still rock classic In Flames and Amorphis albums daily). However, if one band kept metal listeners everywhere playing air guitar in their room, it was Darkest Hour. Undoing Ruin not only melts face, but also melts body. Darkest Hour owns A Life Once Lost.

Best Metalcore Album

Benson: Fight Paris - Paradise, Found. These guys aren't really metalcore, more just straight up rock and roll, but since they're on Trustkill Records I'll just throw them in this catagory. This album is nonstop for start to finish. Great riffs, great lyrics. Every song is about either sex, drugs, or rock and roll. It doesn't get any better than that. Other good metalcore albums of note would have to be The Darkest Red by The Agony Scene, Of Love and Lunacy by Still Remains, and Gutter Phenomenon by Every Time I Die (although like Fight Paris, they are more straight up Rock and Roll).

Elder Benson: Haste the Day - When Everything Falls. Tough category, there were so many good metalcore albums in 2005. That being said, even my Jewishness couldn’t prevent me from falling hard for the Christian Metal scene. When Everything Falls is a flawless album. Good screams. Good clean vocals. Good riffs. Plus, a great cover song. Haste the Day slays.Runner Up: Still Remains – Of Love and Lunacy.

Best Screamo Album

Benson: UnderOath - They're Only Chasing Safety. This came out in 04, but was recently re-released in October so it still counts. UnderOath owns this genre, hands down. Other notable screamo albums this year would have to be Emery's The Question, Boys Night Out's Trainwreck, Aiden's Nightmare Anatamy and Hours by Funeral for a Friend.

Elder Benson: Silverstein - Discovering the Waterfront. 2005 will probably be remembered as the year of Screamo. This genre is well on its way to mall punk status. It should be hilarious seeing fat teenagers trying to pull off the tight-indy-t and converse chucks wardrobe. Even if the fans are starting to suck, there is still a lot of good music here. Like Young Benson said, Underoath can’t be touched in this genre. But since their album did originally come out in ’04, I’m going to give someone else a shot. Silverstein, you’re up. Even though you share a name with the guy that wrote “Where the Sidewalk Ends” and “The Giving Tree” (staples of the Benson childhood mind you), you still put out one helluva record.
Runner Up: Funeral for A Friend - Hours

Best Pop-Punk Album

Benson: Anberlin - Never Take Frendship Personal. I'm embarrassed to even have this category, but a good album is a good album. Runners up for me in this category would have to be Panic! at the Disco who released A Fever You Can't Sweat Out fairly recently and The Academy Is... Almost Here.

Elder Benson: The Academy Is...Almost Here. Unlike my young brother, I’m not at all embarrassed by this category. With that said The Academy Is... runs away with the win here. Almost Here is a great record. 2006 is going to be a big year for this band, you’ll see. Honorable Mention: Anberlin – Never Take Friendship Personal, Fall Out Boy – From Under the Cork Tree.

Guiltly Pleasure Album

Benson: Mae - The Everglow. Yeah, thats right, Mae. My feelings on this band have changed since I wrote about them in my Warped Tour review, and I'm not proud of it.

Elder Benson: Avenged Sevenfold - City of Evil. I’ve done a complete 180 in my opinion of this band. While I used to hate these guys, I’m pretty much hooked on this album now. But I will always side with Atreyu in the war for Orange County.

Albums from 2004 that were most listened to in 2005

Benson: Alexisonfire - Watch Out!, The Acacia Strain - 3750.

Elder Benson: Atreyu - The Curse, He is Legend - I Am Hollywood, Rise Against - Siren Song of the Counter Culture. If this category was a Drowningman or even a Fall Out Boy song, it would probably be titled “Albums I’m kicking Myself for Ignoring When They Came Out, but Then My Brother Made Me Listen To Them and Now I’m Obsessed.” I listened to the above albums as much or more then anything released in 2005. Usually I’m ahead of the curve when it comes to music, but with these CD’s I completely dropped the ball. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

Album so Good it's Actually Worth Buying

Benson: Coheed and Cambria - Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV...

Elder Benson: For once we agree. Coheed is probably the best band on the planet right now. And yes, that means they’re better then Coldplay.

 Most Surprisingly Good Album
Benson: Story of the Year - In the Wake of Determination.
Elder Benson: Where the hell did this CD come from? I had no idea Story of the Year had this kind of record in them. It’s hard to imagine this is from the same band that released “Until the Day I Die.” Good work gentlemen.

Worst Album

Benson: Hilary Duff - Most Wanted. I'm calling bullshit on this one, Duff. Releasing a greatest hits CD after only two albums? Damn it Duff, its gonna take more than just three original tracks to satisfy my appetite for shitty pop music. In 2006, I expect at least 6 new tracks from you, or else I'm quitting the fan club. And for the record, drop that freeloading hooker sister of yours with the bum nose who keeps trying to capatalize on your fame.

Elder Benson: Finch - Say Hello to Sunshine.


Top Ten Songs
Benson:
 1. Comeback Kid "Wake the Dead"
 2. Mae "Breakdown"
 3. Every Time I Die "Kill the Music"
 4. Fight Paris "Fuck me Stillettos"
 5. Between the Buried and Me "Selkies: The Endless Obsession"
 6. Reggie and the Full Effect "Get Well Soon"
 7. Alkaline Trio "Mercy Me"
 8. A Life Once Lost "Vulture"
 9. As I Lay Dying "Confined"
 10. Panic! At the Disco "Time to Dance"
Elder Benson:
1. The Hurt Process "You Don't Get Gold for Second Place"
 2. The Academy Is... "Checkmarks"
 3. Coheed and Cambria "Ten Speed"
 4. Darkest Hour "Sound the Surrender"
 5. Haste the Day "When Everything Falls"
 6. Boys Night Out "Medicating"
 7. Acceptance "The Letter"
 8. 30 Seconds to Mars "Attack"
 9. Still Remains "Recovery"
 10. Paramore "Here We Go Again"

Well that's it. Be back soon with more words of wisdom.

posted by Benson | 3:12 PM

1 Comments:

Anonymous *insert wannabe hardcore username here* said...

Alright, as per Benson's request I am leaving a few of my own picks.

Best Metal Album: As much as I want to go with Darkest Hour here. I am Forced to go with Bullet for my Valentine's The Poison. One of the few bands I have turned Jeff onto. This album blew me away. I was hooked on their EP when I first got ahold of it, so naturally I had high hopes for the album release, and it did not diappoint. Metal screams beautifully mixed with melodic vocals and shredding guitars, you really can't go wrong.

Best Metalcore Album: Haste the Day- When Everything Falls. Yet another album that helped the tragic emo phase. I still can't stop listening to the title track from this album. It has more or less owned my soul since I got it.

Best Screamo Album: Aiden-Nightmare Academy. Mr. Benson the man responsible for almost every good band that I listen to turned me onto these guys a few months ago, and I could not stop listening to them, and still have problems getting these guys out of my head.

Best Pop-Punk Album: The Academy Is...- Almost Here. The songs are just too damn catchy, can't say too much else about it.

Guilty Pleasure Album: Don't really have one.

Album from 2004 that was most listened to in 2005: Rise Against- Siren Song of the Counter Culture. Discovered this band earlier in the year, watching "MTVU" of all things. Easily one of my favorite bands now, and definately one of my favorite albums.

Album so Good it's Actually Worth Buying: Gonna have to agree with the Bensons on this one. Coheed's new album just plain incredible, no two ways about it.

Most Surprisingly Good Album: Again going to have to agree with the Bensons, this album was nothing like what I expected. Total surprise.

Worst Album: Hell if I know. I do my best not to listen to bad music. But I'll agree with Hillary Duff, because her exsistance pretty much needs to be ended.

Top Ten Songs
1. The Smashup "Murder to the Mattress"
2. Bullet for My Valentine "All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)"
3. Coheed and Cambria "Welcome Home"
4. The Academy Is... "The Phrase that Pays"
5. Darkest Hour "Convelesence"
6. Panic At the Disco! "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
7. Haste the Day "When Everything Falls"
8. Aiden "Knife Blood Nightmare"
9. Slipknot "Eeyore" (from the live album, damnit.)
10. Reggie and the Full Effect "Get Well Soon"

And that kids is all I have for now.

2:10 AM  

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