Currently Shredding 2: Electric Boogaloo
Welcome to part deux of my series about the music I've been listening to these days. The theme of this entry will be the songs and bands I'm into right now that I am ashamed of. I hope by putting it out there that I am listening to this shit, I will be able to rid myself of my guilt and move on with my sad and pathetic life. So here goes, the guilty listening pleasures...
First up is the latest record from Avenged Sevenfold, "City of Evil." As the ominous title and the "skeleton dude with sword riding on horse" artwork suggests, these guys are tough and scary and take themselves waaaay too seriously. Not only that, but they go through more mascara a night than a Mexican hooker. Another reason I'm ashamed to like this band is the queer nicknames they all go by. Apparently not content with their birth names, they go by alias' like "Johnny Christ," "Zacky vengeance," "M. Shadows," "The Rev," and my personal favorite, "Synyster Gates." These guys are like the Goth power rangers. Before show time, they all sit around, make-up free, wearing sweatpants and eating slim jims. Then, they all join hands, say the magic Goth words, and BOOM! The next minute, they are all in leather pants, make up, and motley crue t-shirts. This is when there stage names take effect as well. Then, they go out and rock the crowd of 15-year-old sluts and high school kids who haven't discovered real metal yet. And, 21-year-old dudes like me who, despite knowing all that is wrong with this band, can't help but love them.
From the out of tune high pitched squeals, to the guitar solos that sound like they were stolen from Slash's notebook, I fell for this CD hook, line, and sinker. I even love how they sold out and lost the screams that were prevalent on their other CD's. For me, listening to this CD is like seeing a car accident or a scantily clad fat chick. No matter how disgusting, you can't turn away. You have to check out the goods. But now I have gone even further. I've found myself in that very car accident, in bed with that very same fat chick. I can't stop listening to this goddamn CD. I know its bad, but I can't help it. I'm sorry.
I'm even more sorry to like Fall Out Boy's latest "From Under the Cork Tree." I mean, A7X was at least metal once. I used to be heavily anti-Fall Out Boy, back when I was being pressured to submit to their catchy pop hooks. For awhile, I held my ground. But then I saw these guys live. I saw their fat roadie, known only as "dirty" dive into the nastiest pool of water I have ever seen. I saw them use hardcore guitar throws and jump around like they were playing Merauder's "Master Killer" instead of one their own songs. These guys' photos are no doubt all over the wall of every bulemic emo girl in the country right now. Their song is number one on MTV's TRL. Right now, I listen to some of the heaviest music out there. For God's sake, right now I am listening to the new Darkest Hour. But, dammit, I know soon I will have a pop punk craving, as these new Fall Out Boy songs stick to you worse than a bad case of herpes. So, until they are able to invent a cure, I'm stuck listening to this pop punk monstrosity.
First up is the latest record from Avenged Sevenfold, "City of Evil." As the ominous title and the "skeleton dude with sword riding on horse" artwork suggests, these guys are tough and scary and take themselves waaaay too seriously. Not only that, but they go through more mascara a night than a Mexican hooker. Another reason I'm ashamed to like this band is the queer nicknames they all go by. Apparently not content with their birth names, they go by alias' like "Johnny Christ," "Zacky vengeance," "M. Shadows," "The Rev," and my personal favorite, "Synyster Gates." These guys are like the Goth power rangers. Before show time, they all sit around, make-up free, wearing sweatpants and eating slim jims. Then, they all join hands, say the magic Goth words, and BOOM! The next minute, they are all in leather pants, make up, and motley crue t-shirts. This is when there stage names take effect as well. Then, they go out and rock the crowd of 15-year-old sluts and high school kids who haven't discovered real metal yet. And, 21-year-old dudes like me who, despite knowing all that is wrong with this band, can't help but love them.From the out of tune high pitched squeals, to the guitar solos that sound like they were stolen from Slash's notebook, I fell for this CD hook, line, and sinker. I even love how they sold out and lost the screams that were prevalent on their other CD's. For me, listening to this CD is like seeing a car accident or a scantily clad fat chick. No matter how disgusting, you can't turn away. You have to check out the goods. But now I have gone even further. I've found myself in that very car accident, in bed with that very same fat chick. I can't stop listening to this goddamn CD. I know its bad, but I can't help it. I'm sorry.
I'm even more sorry to like Fall Out Boy's latest "From Under the Cork Tree." I mean, A7X was at least metal once. I used to be heavily anti-Fall Out Boy, back when I was being pressured to submit to their catchy pop hooks. For awhile, I held my ground. But then I saw these guys live. I saw their fat roadie, known only as "dirty" dive into the nastiest pool of water I have ever seen. I saw them use hardcore guitar throws and jump around like they were playing Merauder's "Master Killer" instead of one their own songs. These guys' photos are no doubt all over the wall of every bulemic emo girl in the country right now. Their song is number one on MTV's TRL. Right now, I listen to some of the heaviest music out there. For God's sake, right now I am listening to the new Darkest Hour. But, dammit, I know soon I will have a pop punk craving, as these new Fall Out Boy songs stick to you worse than a bad case of herpes. So, until they are able to invent a cure, I'm stuck listening to this pop punk monstrosity.
posted by Benson | 2:25 AM
6 Comments:
read a few of your posts. I'm impressed.
It is really bad music, I'll give you that, but don't be embarrassed. lol.
oh, and p.s. That new Gwen Stefani song is NOT hot. It sucks. and the video, even worse. I cannot comprehend how people justify getting sucked into that crap.
Benson you are pathetic. I figured living with the God Of Metal for a year would kick your ass into high gear of what is good metal and what is complete dogshit...What would Dimebag do? (W.W.D.B.D? i want bracelets that say that shit) Would he hit this mary jane or what? AX77 or whatever sucks elephant balls.
...for the second part of my critique...
dude, the new Fall Out Boy is fucking amazing. Catch for catch, hook fo' hook, i'm up in its grill like a fat emo whale chick in a baby blue Get Up Kids girlie T on Chris Dashboard's duck butter sack...ladies, did I mention I made a cameo deluxe in their acclaimed video for "Saturday"? yea that's right...line up tramps. Stooges rule. Listen to the new cKy...cunts.
I just wanted to say don't knock the new Fall Out Boy. I may be schooled in hardcore, but i have a weakness for this. I gotta say, the album is awesome. Musical elitists can talk all the shit they want; they're singing along to every chorus anyway.
And Fall Out Boy comes up with some great song titles.
Avenged Sevenfold on the other hand is complete garbage. Atreyu will continue to dominate THAT scene (410,000 unites sold versus Avenged Sevenfold's 231,421) not to mention they have a song about turning into a vampire. I hope Avenged Sevenfold gets booed off the Warped Tour while Atryeu rides it go glory.
Fucking all bows down to Remembering Never....fucking all bow down to it now!!! Benson what the fuck....get back to motherfucking ohio now...nj is for bitches and artie lang. Athens was off the heezie when I came down.....so much metal, so little time. So what the fuck.....what the hell is this about Luther Vandross dying? obviously if woulda had some sick breakdowns in his shit he'd still be kickin ass and balls deep in some skank ass trick. Dude Avenged Sevenfold blows my balls. JT needs to get his ass over here and halfling leaf it up with some Grinfucked metal goodness. Metal owns all....all day everyday....this is my shout out to my hed nigga, jeff, the hardcore solja thats stayin hard when the whole world is goin soft....Dimebag and Craig are very proud of you.
all I gotta say, is I remember tryin to talk to this kid about Fall Out Boy, and I distinctly remember him flippin out on me and tellin me they were gay. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Welcome to my world sir. Welcome to my world. But fear not you have sank as low as you can. There is only so low a man can go in times of desperation. its like the fat chick at the bar when you havent gotten laid in months and youve had a few too many drinks. And you know its a bad idea, but you go up to her anyways and end up fuckin her brains out. its fun until you get caught ;).
This site is great, nice job!!
I have a penis enlargement reviews info site. It is about penis enlargement reviews articles and stuff.
Drop by when you can, nice site here!
Post a Comment
<< Home